I’m tired of songs glorifying twerking and excessive drinking. The majority of popular music on the radio is rife with sexism, overt sexuality, and references to drug use. It’s frustrating.
Sure, I might sound like a parent from a different generation, but I have a 10-year-old son who is not only captivated by pop music but also seems to grasp every lyric (unlike me, the quintessential confused adult, often asking, “What did they just say?”).
We’ve put parental controls on our devices and limit screen time. Their TV viewing is minimal, and I frequently consult Common Sense Media to evaluate the age-appropriateness of movies and books. But radio? It’s a media jungle in our home, and all I can do is consider an outright ban on radio, which feels both unrealistic and joyless.
What are my options? We don’t have satellite radio with its curated stations, and my kids aren’t fans of oldies or Christian music, and definitely not NPR. They don’t want silence in the car; my son, a music fanatic, insists on listening to the radio nonstop. I’ve caught him moving the laundry room radio to his room several times, and I’ve discreetly returned it, especially since the DJs often spout just as much nonsense as the songs.
It’s easy to think this is a modern dilemma, but it isn’t. When my older siblings were young, my mother would scrutinize the lyrics of their records. “This song is about a prostitute,” she would say disapprovingly while listening to The Police’s “Roxanne.” To which my siblings would reply, “But he’s saying she doesn’t have to put on the red light.” They made a compelling case, and I think my teenage siblings won that debate.
However, parents can’t always preview everything, nor do we have the time or desire to do so. Growing up near New York City, I had my own clock radio. One morning, I turned it on and was introduced to Howard Stern’s morning show, which I found unsettling. At about 11 or 12, I remember hearing inappropriate questions directed at female guests, reminding me of the uncomfortable inquiries from boys at school.
So, I switched to all-news stations, only to encounter grim stories about events like the Central Park Jogger case and the Preppy Murder case, both horrific crimes from the late 1980s. Not exactly a better option. My parents were blissfully unaware of what I was exposed to during those formative years.
The reality is, tweens will inevitably encounter inappropriate content, regardless of our efforts to shield them. This exposure will happen at school and particularly through radio, even if we’re vigilant about other media. Therefore, I’m opting to minimize solo listening and maximize shared listening experiences. Why not turn this into an opportunity for discussion?
When my siblings and I were young drivers, my mom encouraged us to drive with her as much as possible to gain experience before we drove solo. I believe a similar approach applies to media consumption and the complex issues it raises. The more we listen together, the more opportunities I have to provide context for raunchy lyrics and problematic comments from DJs. While I may change the station occasionally, I hope to be the voice in their minds that encourages critical thinking about the messages they hear.
There’s reason for optimism. My siblings successfully convinced my mom that “Roxanne” had merit by demonstrating their thoughtful engagement with the lyrics. Similarly, my son has argued that a song with the line “you don’t own me” is preferable to one where a woman sings “I wanna look good for you, good for you.” He has a point, and I hope he eventually understands that no woman should have to assert “you don’t own me” in a relationship, as that sentiment is problematic in itself.
So, I’ll continue to engage him in conversations about these topics, preparing him for the world instead of trying to shield him from it.
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In summary, while pop music may often present inappropriate themes, engaging in conversations about these issues can help children navigate their musical interests thoughtfully.