Please Don’t Pity Me for My Illness

Adult human female anatomy diagram chartAt home insemination

My condition is chronic and incurable. Every day, I monitor my blood sugar levels, administer insulin doses, and meticulously track my carbohydrate intake.

Honestly, managing my illness is draining. When I’m not checking my blood sugar, I’m on the phone with my insurance company, disputing another exorbitant medical bill. If I’m not injecting insulin to address a high reading, I’m reflecting on my morning workout and how it might affect my health later. And if I’m not pondering the carbohydrate content of that slice of pizza I just ate, I’m fielding questions about whether I should indulge in it at all.

Failing to control my blood sugar can lead to severe complications, including blindness, amputations, kidney failure, various cancers, heart problems, depression, and sexual dysfunction. It’s a heavy burden to carry, knowing that every choice I make—whether it’s about sleep, diet, exercise, or insulin dosage—can be a matter of life or death.

You might not realize I have Type 1 diabetes at first glance. I look like any other busy mom: hair in a messy bun, yoga pants, and a coffee in hand. I juggle my kids’ activities, tackle household chores, and manage my freelance writing career. My evenings are filled with the chaotic routine we affectionately call “hell time.” By 9 PM, if we’re fortunate, we fall onto the couch, exhausted, to watch some mindless TV. On the surface, I appear totally normal.

However, when people discover that I have diabetes—often because they notice the insulin pump clipped to my waistband or see me checking my blood sugar—they bombard me with predictable reactions. I hear cautionary tales about relatives who lost limbs due to poor management. Some wonder if I can simply take pills instead of insulin. Others express disbelief at the idea of injecting themselves, and many question my dietary choices, assuming I cannot have sugar. Well-intentioned acquaintances try to sell me remedies or suggest various “cures.” One person even said, “At least it’s not cancer!” Others lean in and whisper, “How are you? Are your blood sugars stable?”

Maintaining stable blood sugar levels is as challenging as keeping a toddler from throwing a tantrum over losing their favorite toy. Since my pancreas no longer produces insulin, I have to assume its role, which means I’m constantly engaged in this battle—every single day of the year.

The stress of living with a chronic illness is unlike anything I’ve faced before. It breeds relentless worry, confusion, frustration, but it has also fostered strength, determination, and a unique sense of prioritization. The concept of balance evolves drastically when you’re fighting for your health daily.

As someone living with diabetes, there are things I truly don’t need. Those “great-tasting, sugar-free, all-natural” drink mixes you’re selling? I don’t want them. I don’t want to hear about your relative who went blind or how a miracle remedy is just around the corner. Please, please don’t ask me if I’m “OK.” These conversations only serve as reminders of my condition and leave me feeling inadequate.

Let me share what truly matters. When I was hospitalized following my diagnosis, a friend visited me. I was curled up in an uncomfortable bed, significantly underweight, and covered in bruises from countless needle sticks. My hands and feet were numb and tingling from prolonged high blood sugar levels. I was utterly miserable.

Instead of asking how I was feeling—something that was obvious—my friend made a simple yet profound gesture. She sat at the foot of my bed and gently massaged my feet. Her message was clear: I care. I’m here for you without expecting anything in return.

If you have a friend dealing with a chronic illness, find a small act of kindness that requires no expectations. Surprise them with a cup of coffee on a dreary day or send a silly card that will make them smile. Text them to remind them how strong they are and ask, “What can I do to brighten your day?” And then follow through.

Please, don’t waste your energy feeling sorry for me. Stand by my side, support me, and yes, send me coffee.

For more insights on home insemination, check out this blog post. If you’re curious about bedtime routines, this article offers some great tips. For an excellent resource on pregnancy and options like IUI, visit this link.

In summary, living with a chronic illness brings challenges and burdens, but it also fosters resilience and support. It’s essential to approach those dealing with similar struggles with kindness and understanding rather than pity.