I want to be upfront: I breastfed four children, but it was never something I enjoyed. I appreciate the health benefits and the financial practicality of nursing, yet I can’t say it created that deep bond I had hoped for with my little ones. In fact, it sometimes felt like the opposite.
Before becoming a parent, I fully embraced the idea that “breast is best.” I was determined to nurse my first child, no matter the challenges. When he arrived, I eagerly attempted to breastfeed, expecting a beautiful experience. Unfortunately, nursing turned out to be far more complicated than I envisioned. It was painful and perplexing, requiring a lot of trial and error. After many tears and the help of a skilled lactation consultant, I managed to nurse him for a year.
Despite the sense of accomplishment, I never truly embraced breastfeeding. It demanded an immense amount of my time and energy. I was frustrated that I was the only one who could feed him, as my attempts to use a breast pump—regardless of whether it was a hospital-grade model—yielded no results. This meant I had to be present for every single feeding. After a year of this routine, I was relieved to wean him and felt a sense of freedom. I never held any resentment; after all, doing hard things for your children is a fundamental part of motherhood, isn’t it?
However, my experience with my second child was entirely different.
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In summary, my journey with breastfeeding was filled with challenges and second thoughts. While I committed to nursing my children for their health and well-being, I never found joy in the experience. Each child’s journey was unique, and I learned to prioritize my well-being alongside their needs.