If you have a friend or family member who is navigating the emotional and physical challenges of in vitro fertilization (IVF), it’s natural to want to support them. However, it can be easy to unintentionally say something that might be hurtful or dismissive. Here are seven phrases to steer clear of:
- “Just relax.”
This suggestion oversimplifies the complexities of fertility issues and can make someone feel like their struggles are their fault. - “You’re having fertility problems because…”
Avoid placing blame or speculating about the reasons behind their situation; this can feel intrusive and judgmental. - “Why don’t you adopt?”
While adoption is a wonderful option for many, suggesting it can undermine their desire to experience pregnancy and childbirth. - “You’re still young!”
Comments about age can feel patronizing and may downplay the emotional pain of infertility. - “Are you pregnant yet?”
Constantly asking about pregnancy can add pressure and stress; it’s better to let them share updates when they’re ready. - “Congratulations!”
Premature congratulations can lead to confusion and disappointment if the journey doesn’t go as planned. - “Are you sure this is what you want?”
This question can imply doubt about their choices and may make them feel unsupported in their journey.
Instead, consider offering a listening ear or words of encouragement that validate their feelings. It can also be helpful to guide them toward resources that provide support, such as those found at CDC’s pregnancy resources, or check out Make A Mom’s products for at-home insemination. For couples looking for guidance after unsuccessful attempts, Make A Mom has valuable resources to help them find success.
In summary, being mindful of the language you use can make a significant difference in supporting someone through their IVF journey. Your compassion and understanding can provide comfort during a challenging time.