Body Image
Embracing Body Acceptance After Motherhood
Navigating body changes, whether at thirteen or thirty, can be a challenge. Written by Lily Carter
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: June 14, 2022
Today marks the release of my debut graphic novel, Smaller Sister, aimed at preteens and centered on the joy of embracing your body as it is. When I began this project, I was still over two years away from becoming a mother. Now, as my book finally hits the shelves, I am six months postpartum, and I find myself revisiting the very message of body acceptance that I aimed to convey.
Smaller Sister is a fictional tale inspired by my own journey in developing a healthy self-image after witnessing my older sister’s struggle with an eating disorder. The protagonist, a middle schooler named Emma, grapples with disordered eating due to societal pressures and unrealistic body expectations. It isn’t until she learns to treat herself kindly that she begins to appreciate herself in a new light.
I crafted the script in 2019 when I was 28, at a time when I felt mostly content with my adult body. I had established somewhat balanced routines after years of post-college uncertainty and felt good about the reflection in the mirror. However, graphic novels require a lengthy creation process. By the time I submitted the final artwork to my publisher in mid-2021, my feelings about my body had shifted significantly—I was five months pregnant.
Now, as Smaller Sister launches, my precious son is precisely six months and one day old. In the span of time from conceptualizing this book to now, I’ve created a human being. I dealt with morning sickness while sketching and squeezed in prenatal yoga classes before workdays spent finishing the art. Just as I began to think about promoting my book, I underwent a C-section. As I share the important message I want my young audience to take away—that finding peace with your body is far more fulfilling than striving for perfection—I am simultaneously adjusting to the changes in my postpartum body after major surgery while caring for my newborn. It’s a lot to manage.
Pregnancy has been referred to as a second puberty due to the significant physical and hormonal transformations that occur, and I can certainly relate. The changes in my body—wider hips, larger breasts, unexpected hair in new places, and shifting skin—reminded me of my experiences at twelve or thirteen (excluding the breast development, which I didn’t experience back then). Now, postpartum, I find myself feeling just as unfamiliar with my reflection and uneasy in my own skin. It’s not that I dislike my body; I view myself through a more mature lens than I did nearly twenty years ago. However, many of the changes are permanent, and I’m still getting to know this new version of myself.
Even when my old clothes fit, they don’t feel the same. My weight feels differently distributed when I exercise. The curve of my stomach over my incision scar feels like it belongs to someone else. While discussing Smaller Sister, I sometimes feel guilt and a sense of impostor syndrome. Is it hypocritical to promote self-love when I’m grappling with my own self-doubt? Who am I to advocate for body positivity when I struggle to love myself wholeheartedly?
Yet, perhaps this is precisely what Smaller Sister embodies, addressing the ongoing battle against unrealistic perfection. As a preteen, I felt pressure to conform to an idealized image of beauty. Now, as a new mom, I feel pressured to view my body as perfect despite its changes. Yet some days, I simply don’t. I understand that accepting my feelings of negativity is essential, trusting that they will eventually pass, but cultivating patience is both frustrating and humbling.
Changing bodies, whether at thirteen or thirty, is tough. Living in a body at any age is challenging. This is where I can look to my own book for guidance. In Smaller Sister, Emma learns to nurture her relationship with her body day by day, treating herself with gentleness. Applying the same mindset as an adult isn’t regression; it’s another phase of growth.
This serves as a reminder to me that it’s okay not to feel entirely comfortable in my own skin some days. It will take time to become familiar with my postpartum body, and I’m excited about getting to know her.
Lily Carter hails from Springfield, Illinois, and spent her childhood in coastal Maine. After seven years of designing and art directing children’s books, she decided to embark on her own storytelling journey. Now residing in New Brunswick with her husband, a college coach, and their dog, Cheddar, she enjoys reading, running, and experimenting in the kitchen. Her debut graphic novel, Smaller Sister, draws from her experiences as the youngest of three sisters.
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