LOL, You Thought the Terrible Twos Were Challenging
Have you encountered the world of tweens yet?
Written by Emily Carter
Everyone warns you about the notorious terrible twos, when your sweet little angel transforms into a body-slamming, non-stop whining little monster who you love unconditionally. It’s just a phase of growing out of toddlerhood, and since it’s just a phase, they tell you to hang in there—no matter how tough those moments are, they will eventually pass. And it’s true. The terrible twos come and go, and before you know it, your kiddos are hitting double digits, and then they transition into teenagers, and we all know how that saga unfolds.
What I find perplexing is why no one prepares us for the tumultuous tween years.
If you’re not familiar yet—tweens are a unique breed. They still have that childlike charm and wide-eyed innocence, but it’s all a clever disguise for that 9-going-on-19 attitude that seems to hit like a ton of bricks. My tween challenges me constantly, especially on laundry day.
She starts off asking if I want to join her in folding and hanging up her clothes, but as soon as I help, she sits back and leaves it all for me to handle. Oh no, young lady, that’s not how this works. When I ask her about it, the attitude slowly starts bubbling to the surface: “Mom, can’t you just let me finish this video?” or “Why can’t you hang those up yourself?” Oh, and my favorite, “You just don’t like doing laundry, that’s why you make me do it!”
Do I want to scream, “Do it because I said so!”? Of course. But I won’t. Has she been pushing all my buttons? Absolutely. Should she complete her chores without the attitude since I asked her to? Definitely. But she won’t.
This will be a daily routine from now until who knows when. Because this is what she does; this is what all tweens do. They push boundaries to test which ones they can cross. I can only imagine my grandmother shaking her head at the negotiations that go down between my daughter and me—but that’s how we roll in our household.
I intentionally choose to tackle her tween attitude directly with a firm-but-fair approach because ignoring it would only escalate the situation and lead to passive-aggressive exchanges that fester into resentment. How do I know this? Because it’s what my mother did with me.
Hearing her sassy comebacks drives me up a wall, but I remember doing the same thing at her age. She’s pushing to see how far she can go before I give in or snap. But I choose neither. I step away, go outside to soak in some sunshine, or take the dog for a walk—anything to calm down.
I aim to guide her with patience and understanding because ultimately, she’ll stop resisting. Sure, it probably won’t happen overnight, but I hope she’ll eventually realize that fighting me requires more energy than just doing her chores the first time. I know, I know—it might not turn out that way, but I’ve experienced the alternative firsthand, and I don’t have the energy for that.
Tweens testing limits are the bane of every parent’s existence. Whether it’s about chores, screen time, or that outfit you begged them not to wear to school, it’s inevitable. They’re inching towards independence, and testing your patience is just part of that journey. So take a deep breath and hang in there. Scream into a pillow or call your mom to share the latest antics of her grandchild—trust me, she’ll find it amusing.
So, I suppose this is the stage our moms didn’t warn us about because they were too busy shaking their heads in disbelief at our similar antics. Yes, if the tween years were a meme, it would be the one about how, the moment I speak, my mother’s voice comes out. This time, I’m altering the dialogue in hopes of achieving more peace, less sass… and avoiding premature gray hairs.
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In summary, while the terrible twos may be tough, the tween years present their own unique challenges. As our children strive for independence, it’s crucial to approach their sass with patience and understanding. The journey may be fraught with testing boundaries, but it’s all part of helping them grow.