As the push against LGBTQ+ youth continues in various states, some parents are choosing to raise their children without defining their gender. These children, lovingly referred to as “theybies,” are raised without gender-specific names, pronouns, clothing, or toys, allowing them to explore and identify their own gender at their own pace.
While there is limited data on the prevalence of this gender-neutral baby movement, a Facebook group dedicated to parenting theybies grew from 220 to about 770 members since 2018. Many parents have also found support through Instagram and blogs focused on raising theybies. In a society still steeped in gender norms—from gender-reveal parties to “daddy’s little princess” shirts—it can be a significant challenge to raise children without gender influences. Some parents believe that achieving this goal is nearly impossible, regardless of their intentions.
Understanding the Gender-Neutral Baby Movement
Scott Tyler, an author on parenting, describes a shift among progressive parents to nurture their children in a gender-neutral environment. Traditionally, the focus was on allowing children to play with any toys and wear any clothing they preferred, minimizing societal gender roles. Recently, some parents have adopted more comprehensive approaches. This includes withholding the assigned sex at birth from everyone except for close family and healthcare providers, and choosing unisex names, clothing, and toys. Ultimately, the goal is for the child to discover and express their gender identity when they feel ready.
The Experience of Raising Theybies
Some parents report that their theybies grow into imaginative and confident individuals, while others find it challenging for their children to navigate a world that still heavily emphasizes gender. Some critics argue that the movement could inadvertently diminish LGBTQ+ identities, asserting that it’s unrealistic to raise a child entirely outside the concept of gender.
“I wanted my children to be free from societal molds,” says Alex Carter, a father of two. “This approach has nurtured their creativity and confidence. They stand up to bullying without losing their authenticity.” For Alex, this method has cultivated open-mindedness in his children.
Another parent, Jamie Lee, notes that their teenager’s experience differs from their younger child’s, highlighting the role of social media in shaping perceptions of gender. “The internet provides a wealth of information, but figuring out their identity comes from within,” Jamie explains. “I encourage my kids to trust their instincts and disregard the noise from online platforms.”
For Sarah Kim, a mother from New York, raising a gender-neutral child started as a response to societal expectations. “I wanted my child to break free from gender stereotypes,” she shares. “However, I still face challenges in explaining this approach to others, as it’s not widely accepted yet.”
Does This Approach Erase Queer Identities?
Lesbian parent Morgan, who identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community, argues that denying the existence of gender can erase genderqueer identities. “Our goal should be to uplift all identities—cisgender, transgender, non-binary, and genderfluid,” she asserts. “We want our children to have a variety of options and to understand that queer identities are valid and meaningful.”
Morgan emphasizes the importance of providing education about gender diversity from an early age, allowing children to choose how they identify. “We support our kids in expressing themselves freely, whether they want to wear glittery skirts or suspenders,” she adds.
For More Information:
For those interested in learning more about parenting and gender-neutral approaches, check out this blog post for additional insights. Additionally, Women’s Health offers valuable resources on pregnancy and home insemination. For expert knowledge, Intracervical Insemination can provide authoritative insights on related topics.
Potential Search Queries:
- how to raise a gender-neutral child
- theybie parenting tips
- gender-neutral toys and clothing
- understanding gender fluidity in kids
- parenting LGBTQ+ children
In summary, the journey of raising a theybie presents both opportunities and challenges for parents. As they navigate societal pressures and strive for a gender-neutral upbringing, these families are also keenly aware of the importance of allowing their children to explore their identities in a supportive environment.