When my daughter was a toddler, she was enjoying a bath with her baby brother. She pointed to him and asked, “Why does he have a tail? His front butt doesn’t look like mine.” I got permission to share this story, and both kids think it’s funny. However, I realized how little I had taught my daughter about proper anatomical terms, consent, and reproductive health, which I’ve worked hard to correct. Now, “it’s MY body!” is often used to avoid chores or hygiene tasks.
Yet, there’s something I feel hypocritical about admitting: I haven’t yet talked to my kids about abortion, despite having had one myself and being an advocate for reproductive rights. With abortion access under threat for many, especially with the impending changes to Roe v. Wade, it’s a conversation I can’t ignore much longer.
Reflecting on my own experiences, I’m grateful for my abortion. Many women who seek abortions are already mothers; in fact, six in ten women who have abortions are parents.
When I informed my kids about my pregnancy and the upcoming addition to our family, I noticed their curiosity. We explored a book called It’s So Amazing! which covers a broad range of topics, including abortion. Just a brief mention of abortion in the book made me question whether I had overlooked this vital subject in our conversations.
As a millennial mom, I turned to the internet for guidance and discovered What’s An Abortion Anyway?, a resource aimed at educating young people about abortion in a non-judgmental manner. Author Jamie Kline emphasized that the right time to introduce the topic is when children start asking questions, when it comes up in the news, or when a parent is having an abortion.
I spoke with sexual health educator Sarah Lane, who pointed out that children today are likely to encounter abortion in some form during their lives. One in four women will have an abortion by age 45. Discussing it openly and factually can help counteract the stigma often associated with it.
I wanted to ensure that my kids, who are still under ten, wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the information. Kline’s book is designed to allow for deeper discussions if the child is ready. I felt relief knowing I hadn’t missed my chance to talk about it, and I could incorporate this conversation naturally into our ongoing dialogues about body autonomy and consent.
Both Kline and Lane emphasized the importance of honesty and respect in these discussions. Tabitha Green, an educator and writer, echoed this sentiment, noting that having a trusting relationship is crucial for discussing sensitive topics like abortion. If parents avoid these discussions, older children might be left to find information from peers, which can often be misleading.
I plan to keep Kline’s book as a resource for future conversations. She highlighted a crucial point: regardless of personal beliefs about abortion, everyone should have the right to make decisions about their bodies. It’s essential to promote self-determination for all.
Years after my abortion, when another pregnancy test showed two lines, I felt joy and relief. Everyone deserves the right to make the best choices for their lives and families. With the right tools and language, I can help my children understand these fundamental values.
As the Supreme Court prepares to dismantle Roe, I feel reassured that my children will be equipped to view abortion as a human rights issue. These ongoing conversations will help foster their development into compassionate, engaged citizens. Green also noted the influence older kids can have when advocating for reproductive health issues.
Recently, during a neighborhood walk, my daughter asked a question that hinted she might be ready to talk about abortion. Before I could respond, she was back to humming her favorite song. It’s comforting to know that when the time comes, I’ll be ready too.