“I’m so sorry.” This is a phrase I’ve heard far too often from well-meaning parents at the playground when they find out I have an autistic child. It stings, especially because I am autistic myself and have spent over a decade working as a speech-language pathologist with autistic children. While these apologies come from a place of empathy, they reveal a misunderstanding of what it truly means to be autistic. The underlying sentiment suggests that autism somehow diminishes a child’s humanity, implying they cannot enjoy life or fully participate in society. Even if these other parents wouldn’t say it aloud, these beliefs linger in their minds.
Such misconceptions make it incredibly hard for autistic children to be seen, included, and valued. It’s crucial to remember that these parents aren’t malicious; they simply lack awareness. However, their words can inadvertently cause pain and prevent them from experiencing the joy of knowing an amazing autistic child. This cycle of misunderstanding must end.
Here are some myths about autism that I’ve observed:
- Autism Isn’t Just for “Rainman” Types
Let’s move beyond the stereotype that being autistic means possessing extraordinary abilities, like calculating the number of toothpicks on the floor in seconds. Autistic individuals come from all backgrounds and walks of life. Some may have unique talents, while others do not. The key is to appreciate the individuality of each autistic person rather than placing them under unrealistic expectations. - Autistic is an Identity, Not a Condition
When we refer to someone as “autistic,” we highlight it as an identity rather than a condition they “have.” Many in the autistic community prefer the term “autistic” over “a person with autism.” Respect is essential here, so if someone expresses their preference, listen and adapt. - Autistic Individuals Can Desire Social Interaction
A common misconception is that autistic people lack interest in social connections. I once shared a bond with an autistic toddler who would eagerly seek me out for our therapy sessions. This child loved our time together, proving that autistic individuals can and do seek relationships. - Autism and Empathy
Autistic individuals can possess profound empathy. For instance, I’ve seen children I work with demonstrate deep emotional understanding, offering comfort and support to others. In one instance, an autistic child approached a crying peer at the playground, surprising their parents and breaking the stereotype that autistic individuals are disconnected from others’ feelings. - Non-speaking Does Not Mean Non-communicative
It’s vital to understand that being non-speaking (previously termed “nonverbal”) does not equate to an inability to communicate. Many autistic children may choose not to speak or may not yet have developed verbal skills. However, they can express their thoughts and feelings through alternative means, such as typing or using communication devices. Verbal communication is just one way to connect; it’s not the only way.
If you’ve ever apologized upon learning about an autism diagnosis, it’s okay. However, it’s time to shift your perspective. Instead of feeling sorry, approach autistic individuals with curiosity and respect. Understand that they are whole, valuable members of society.
For more insights on this topic, check out one of our other blog posts here and visit this resource for expert information on communication methods.
For further information, the CDC provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
The article challenges common misconceptions about autism, emphasizing that autistic individuals are fully human with unique identities, desires for social interaction, and varying communication abilities. It advocates for a shift in language and perspective, encouraging empathy and understanding rather than apologies.