My son graduated from high school last year. Instead of pursuing college, he chose to enter the trades. He wakes up early and often puts in 10 to 12 hour days, eagerly taking on extra work when available. His ambition is to someday run his own business.
After work, he hits the gym. He’s learned that regular exercise, a protein-rich diet, and sufficient sleep greatly enhance his wellbeing. He has a solid group of friends, and during their downtime, they enjoy dining out and working on their trucks, dirt bikes, and ATVs. His enthusiasm for learning about repairs and maintenance speaks to his diverse interests, which he actively pursues.
Unlike many of his peers—whether in college or not—he’s not into drinking, partying, or late nights out. He prefers to come home and enjoy a good night’s sleep.
However, he does partake in marijuana. Unlike the stereotypical user, he doesn’t smoke in the morning or drive while under the influence. He enjoys a joint similarly to how some might relax with a glass of wine. This perspective is why I haven’t taken much action against it.
Reflecting on My Own Youth
At 19, I was drinking too much wine and smoking cigarettes regularly without my parents’ knowledge, as I was off at college. I was determined to live life on my own terms, and even if they had intervened, I probably wouldn’t have listened.
Recreational cannabis is legal in our state. Although my son isn’t of legal age, I constantly remind him of this fact, as that’s my role as a parent. Teenagers are aware of the laws regarding drinking but often ignore them; there’s only so much we can control as parents.
Choosing Not to Drink
In my view, alcohol poses greater risks than marijuana. I drank heavily during my son’s age, and it’s remarkable I made it through unscathed. He dislikes the taste of alcohol and the way it affects him. If he can’t wake up early to work and then hit the gym, it really bothers him. Honestly, I’d prefer he smoke weed over drink any day.
Maintaining Open Communication
It’s never easy to witness your child using substances. However, if I were to constantly search him for drugs, demand to know where he got them, or impose strict punishments, he would likely hide things from me.
We’ve come to an agreement: he doesn’t smoke in the house, but he can go outside if he wants to enjoy a few puffs. This arrangement keeps things honest and avoids sneaking around.
A Motivated Individual
My son is diligent about his job and only takes time off when he’s unwell. He lends a hand around our home whenever needed and demonstrates remarkable independence. He smokes weed infrequently as a way to unwind, and it doesn’t disrupt his daily life. He isn’t lounging around all day or raiding the fridge.
As parents, we have to choose our battles wisely. Although I was disappointed when I first discovered his use of marijuana, I have faith in him. He’s nearing 19 and will soon be moving out, so it’s crucial to give him the space to make his own choices.
For many, cannabis can alleviate stress. It helps my son manage his anxiety, and I know he won’t stop just because I want him to. So, I’ve decided not to engage in conflict over this issue. Instead, I plan to cherish our remaining time together at home and allow him to enjoy his life.
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In summary, while I may not be entirely comfortable with my son’s marijuana use, I recognize that he is a responsible individual making conscious choices. As he approaches adulthood, it’s essential to foster trust and communication rather than create conflict.