Let Your Children Embrace the Mess, Even If You’re a Clean Freak Like Me

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Most parents tend to fall into one of two categories: those who joyfully let their kids dive into messiness, and those who strive to keep things tidy at all costs. I, for one, find myself in the latter group, although I often wish I could be more like the former. There’s a certain envy I feel towards parents who wholeheartedly engage in messy activities with their children. I can’t quite pinpoint why something as enjoyable as baking with my little ones makes me anxious. Perhaps it’s because I know I’ll be the one scrubbing flour from the kitchen floor afterward. While some might label me a neat freak, I believe there are many parents who share my desire to allow their children to explore, but in a way that limits chaos and maximizes joy.

Undoubtedly, raising kids means dealing with messes—big ones. From sauce-stained floors to overflowing toy bins, it’s a constant battle. However, since the pandemic began, I’ve come to appreciate the unique benefits of messy play, particularly when it involves nature and dirt. I’ve learned that it’s okay if I don’t love seeing my kids play in the dirt; I just need to accept it. Yes, they will get dirty, and yes, their clothes will end up stained. But the sheer delight on their faces as they uncover bugs or wonder where the water they just poured into a pile of dirt disappeared to makes it all worthwhile. In those moments, I remind myself that it’s their role to get messy, and mine is to provide a nurturing environment for their growth (and draw them a bath afterward).

That said, you don’t have to resign yourself to a completely chaotic home for the sake of healthy development. Despite the challenge, I’ve discovered a system that allows for enjoyable, nature-based play while keeping the mess manageable for both me and my child.

Do Your Research

Knowledge is empowering, especially when it comes to letting your children explore the outdoors. Understanding the benefits of nature play can help parents accept the mess that comes with it. We, as humans, learn best when we engage all our senses, and that’s equally true for our children. Besides boosting their immune systems by exposing them to dirt, sensory play helps kids make sense of the world around them. Pediatric occupational therapist Angela Hanscom suggests that the increase in sensory deficits among children may partly stem from a lack of these experiences. By allowing them to engage in messy play, you’re providing them with meaningful opportunities to explore through their senses.

Dress Them Appropriately

This is crucial, especially if you’re new to the idea of letting your kids get messy. Avoid sending your kids outside in their brand-new Christmas sweaters only to be upset when they come back covered in dirt. I’ve found that having designated “play clothes” (which I don’t mind if they get stained or torn) helps manage my expectations and prevents disappointment when they inevitably get dirty.

Establish a Clean-Up Routine

While embracing nature play is essential, helping children develop clean-up routines is equally important. My kids thrive on routines, so we turn clean-up time into a fun game. One child is responsible for gathering all the toys while the other rinses off the patio. It took some practice to instill the rule that dirt stays outside, but when I allow them to play freely without constant admonishments, they’re more inclined to listen during clean-up time.

Consider Composting

Composting not only provides an excellent educational experience for children but also helps manage messes. I prefer electric composters because they transform leftovers and household waste into dirt we can use for gardening. This practice became particularly beneficial during the pandemic, encouraging my kids to learn about environmental health, gardening, and recycling. Watching their scraps turn into compost taught them responsibility and an appreciation for waste management.

Nature-based play is essential for children as it helps them develop various skills through sensory challenges. However, for those of us who thrive on cleanliness, it can be tough to watch the mess unfold. With these strategies, you can keep the chaos in check while ensuring everyone, including you, enjoys the experience.

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Summary

Encouraging children to engage in messy play, especially in nature, is essential for their development. While it can be challenging for clean-conscious parents, implementing strategies such as dressing them appropriately, establishing clean-up routines, and composting can help manage messes while allowing kids the freedom to explore and learn.