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This is a significant shift, one that brings about an immense transformation, and I often find myself feeling hesitant.
Most people assume that authors of children’s books write exclusively for kids. My debut work, Let’s Embrace Everything and Nothing, follows a mother and her daughter as they embark on thrilling adventures together. They scale mountains! They plunge into the ocean depths! Yet, when the day winds down, they discover joy and tranquility in the quiet moments at home.
However, the truth is, I penned this book largely for my own benefit. While I aimed to highlight the representation of people of color in outdoor settings — a subject close to my heart — and to depict a Taiwanese American household, I had deeper, more existential motivations in mind.
As an adventurous woman without children nearing my late 30s, I have spent countless moments reveling in the adventurous half of my narrative. But a few years back, I found a balance to my “let’s do everything” nature and married a wonderful man named Ethan. He dreams of buffets, cruises, and beach getaways. Personally, I would have preferred to save those experiences for later in life when my body might not be as agile. Given our starkly different preferences, we decided to compromise by taking turns planning our activities.
Yet, my unquenchable thirst for the outdoors and adventure often overshadowed our travel plans. Over the years, Ethan has endured countless pre-dawn hikes, rock climbing expeditions, and some steep learning curves. He bravely joined me on these type-2 fun adventures (miserable in the moment but enjoyable in hindsight) and even ventured into type-3 territory (never fun, even in retrospect) when he discovered his susceptibility to altitude sickness. By our fourth ascent of a 14,000-foot peak, he was preemptively taking medication to alleviate the relentless headaches and nausea. I eventually returned the favor by spending a week with him on a beach in Cabo.
Nowadays, our outings have mellowed into pleasant hikes with our dog, followed by a delicious meal. Over the years, I’ve slowly realized that I prefer enjoying simple moments with Ethan over grand adventures without him, and those Vegas buffets turned out to be more delightful than I anticipated. In light of these discoveries, I wrote this book, and we shared its story with friends and family instead of traditional wedding vows. I read the lively first half, and he took on the serene second half.
However, one area where our differences become more pronounced is the subject of parenthood. I took my time weighing the decision of whether or not to embrace motherhood, but that didn’t lessen the fear I felt when I finally resolved to give it a try. The thought of becoming a mother — and doing so at an older age — looms over me as a potential threat to my identity as a capable, active woman. I am anxious about the possibility of transforming into someone entirely different overnight. What if I struggle with the changes to my body, career, and life as I know it? I’ve witnessed friends navigate the heartache of miscarriages and developmental hurdles, career shifts, and closed doors. This is one journey that leaves me uncertain if I will ever feel ready.
Ethan, in contrast, embraces the challenge with open arms. He finds joy in the idea of being a stay-at-home dad and has a soft spot for babies, including our dog, which can sometimes be a bit overwhelming for me. When he carefully arranges her dog bed for maximum comfort, I can’t help but scoff. When he carries her over rough terrain to spare her little paws, I roll my eyes. Yet, I cherish these qualities in him. I am married to someone who embodies characteristics I don’t possess, and thankfully, he is gentle, nurturing, and patient. Perhaps someday, we can embark on a little bit of everything together, as a family.
Mia Lin is a Taiwanese-American author-illustrator based in Seattle. She has taught illustration at Columbia College Chicago and her alma mater, Washington University in St. Louis. Mia was also part of Chicago’s 2017 March for Science and has been honored as an artist-in-residence at Banff Centre for the Arts.
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Summary:
This article explores the complex emotions surrounding the readiness for parenthood, highlighting the author’s personal journey of balancing adventure and the desire for a family. It contrasts her adventurous spirit with her partner’s nurturing nature, ultimately contemplating the uncertainties of motherhood while embracing the joys of companionship.