Understanding how your partner perceives love is essential for making them feel cherished—and it works both ways.
A crucial reminder in any relationship is this: we cannot read each other’s minds. If your partner is sighing heavily but claims “nothing” is wrong, you may be able to unlock their feelings by discovering their love language. Gary Chapman, a well-known author and counselor, identified five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts. Although he introduced this concept over thirty years ago, it has remained relevant and is often featured in dating apps to help individuals understand each other better, according to Sam Nabil, CEO and Lead Therapist of Naya Clinics. “These love languages clarify how people prefer to express and receive love.”
You might be able to identify your partner’s love language through some reflection, but it’s valuable to have a conversation about it, especially since many individuals resonate with more than one. “It’s just another layer of getting to know each other,” Nabil notes. “Typically, people express love in the way they wish to receive it.”
When partners have different love languages, it can feel like learning a new language. There’s no app for this—just practice!
If Their Love Language is Words of Affirmation
If your partner wraps up every call with “I love you!” and greets you with compliments like “Hey, gorgeous!” even when you’re not feeling your best, they likely favor words of affirmation. If you’re more reserved, it might take time to weave phrases like “I truly appreciate you” or “You’re an amazing parent” into your daily conversations, but doing so will help your partner feel recognized.
If Their Love Language is Quality Time
Does your partner often suggest outings like concerts or intimate dinners? Are they inclined to call or FaceTime to share their day? If so, they value quality time. While one partner may want spontaneous weekend getaways, the other might prefer a cozy night in. If quality time is vital to your significant other, you’ll need to prioritize it, even if it means staying up after the kids are asleep to enjoy each other’s company.
If Their Love Language is Physical Touch
Physical touch can encompass everything from sex to cuddles and affectionate gestures. While this might have been easy to navigate during dating, becoming parents can complicate things. If you find yourself feeling “touched out,” remember to get creative—perhaps a quick cuddle session or a playful tap on the back can rekindle that spark.
If Their Love Language is Acts of Service
For those who express love through acts of service, everyday tasks like making a favorite meal or running errands can convey deep affection. It took me a while to realize that my husband appreciated these actions just as much as I did. Consider offering to take care of household chores or plan a surprise for your partner, as these gestures can be incredibly meaningful.
If Their Love Language is Gifts
If your partner frequently surprises you with thoughtful gifts, they might also appreciate receiving surprises in return. Gifts don’t need to be extravagant; even a favorite snack from the store or a small token from a recent trip can communicate, “I was thinking of you.”
Once you’ve identified your partner’s love language, you can show them how much you value them. “Being emotionally in tune with each other requires continuous practice and open dialogue,” Nabil advises. Remember, no one can read minds, but everyone desires to express love.
For more insights, check out this engaging blog post on understanding love languages at Home Insemination Kit. You can also find valuable information about the process at Intracervical Insemination, as well as excellent resources on pregnancy at March of Dimes.
Summary
Learning your partner’s love language can significantly enhance your relationship, especially if you’ve been together for years. By recognizing and adapting to their preferred ways of expressing love—be it through words, time, touch, service, or gifts—you can create a deeper emotional connection and make each other feel truly valued.