I aimed to be that relaxed mom. Honestly, I did.
I often visualize my parenting worries like a closet full of shoes, much like how Carrie Bradshaw might view her collection. Every day, I sift through these anxieties, deciding which ones to wear. Some days, I fixate on whether I’m doing baby-led weaning correctly. Other times, I worry if my little one is bundled up just enough—or too much. Right now, the biggest source of my concern is, unsurprisingly, Covid.
Every little cough or sneeze sends me into a quiet panic. Given that little ones often experience these symptoms frequently, I find myself in a constant state of fight-or-flight mode, much like many moms of toddlers. This is partly due to being pregnant during the peak of the pandemic in NYC and now spending 17 months raising a child while being conditioned to mask up, sanitize, and maintain distance. As much as I wish I could snap my fingers and move past this, I’m struggling to let go.
At the same time, I’m acutely aware that kids need exposure to illnesses to strengthen their immune systems. Reports suggest that children might be more susceptible to illnesses later due to the isolation we’ve practiced during this pandemic. I grapple with the conflict between wanting to shield her from harmful germs while also wanting to help her grow up confident and adventurous.
So, what’s the solution? For starters, I’ve been fully embracing the outdoors. No matter the weather, I strive to get my little one outside to have safe interactions with other kids. It feels reminiscent of those classic adventure stories.
Last week, I set off for the park, feeling prepared: diaper bag, multiple packs of wipes, and extra clothes for any unexpected blowouts. After arriving at the playground, I let her out of the stroller, attempting to embody that laid-back mom vibe by giving her space to explore.
As she wandered in her oversized red puffer suit, I sipped tea on the other side of the playground. A few moments later, instead of heading for the slide or swings, she made a beeline for a massive stick—her current obsession. In her eyes, sticks are treasures.
But then, my instincts kicked in. Just as she turned around, beaming with her gummy grin and the stick in hand, I noticed the unmistakable lump of dog poop smeared on it. I gasped and dashed toward her, but it was too late; dog mess was already on her tiny hands.
I crouched down, trying to extract the stick while keeping my face out of the mess, all the while panicking about potential e-coli or ringworm. Naturally, the diaper bag was back in the stroller, far from my reach. There I was, trying to MacGyver a cleanup station and get us home with minimal mess and meltdowns. So much for the supposed benefits of fresh air and germs.
Later that night, after I had scrubbed her down with generous amounts of Honest bubble bath and she was finally asleep (as well as a 17-month-old can be), I took a moment to reflect with a glass of wine. The dog mess had become a metaphor for parenting: we fear stepping into known challenges, but we’re even more terrified of the unknown.
This parenting experience differs greatly from how many of us were raised. The latchkey generation seemed to have little anxiety about germs—sometimes even welcoming them. I can recall playing in a bath with a friend’s child who had chicken pox—because, hey, it was the early ’90s. Illnesses didn’t cause the anxiety they do now.
Expectations for parenting have shifted dramatically. Millennial moms have been conditioned to juggle various roles: teacher, entertainer, nurturer, and chef, all while managing paid work and facing criticism from all sides. This intense model of motherhood feels more demanding than what previous generations experienced.
Adding to this pressure is the omnipresence of social media, showcasing seemingly perfect mothers effortlessly managing their children and homes. Often, I find myself scrolling through these images late at night when I should be sleeping.
Holding all these thoughts in my head is exhausting! I want to shield my daughter from my anxieties, but I also want her childhood to be joyful and carefree. Yet, I’m equally determined to keep her safe from Covid as long as possible. This sentiment resonates with many parents of toddlers, especially given the uncertainty surrounding vaccinations for our little ones.
So, as we navigate these challenging times, remember that even on days when everything seems to go wrong, whether it’s human or dog mess, it’s all part of the journey. No matter how tough today has been, you can wash away the chaos and enjoy a glass of wine to ease your worries.
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In summary, parenting today comes with its unique set of challenges, particularly in a post-pandemic world. As we strive to balance safety and healthy exposures for our children, we must also remember to lighten up and embrace the messiness of it all.