One of the most challenging parts of divorce is the overwhelming sense of isolation. It’s not just the absence of a romantic partner; it’s losing that steady presence you could rely on for support, encouragement, or even a simple helping hand. As this isolation sets in, there’s often a nagging voice in your head that insists you’re alone because you messed everything up. It’s a harsh critique, almost like hearing a recording of your own voice and hating it.
For me, this sense of isolation didn’t lift until I stumbled upon the Worst Partners Society about six months after my separation. Before that, I struggled with even the most mundane aspects of living alone.
I’m not talking about minor things like opening jars (that’s a cliché) — I mean major challenges, like popping open a bottle of champagne. The first New Year’s Eve post-divorce found me at home, kids tucked in bed, staring at the bubbly I didn’t know how to open. I had always relied on someone else for that job.
“Same here!” laughed my friend and fellow Worst Partner, Mia, when I shared my story at our first meeting. “I once ran a bottle over with my car—it was messy but effective!”
I opted for a YouTube tutorial instead; the trick is to keep the wire cage on or use a towel for grip while twisting. If my divorce taught me anything, it’s that with a solid internet connection, you can tackle almost anything alone.
Lingering Questions of Solitude
While I began to handle everyday tasks, some deeper issues of solitude lingered:
- Who should I list as my kids’ emergency contact?
- How do I combat the hours of staring blankly at the wall post-kids’ visits?
- Who do I take to couple-heavy gatherings?
- If I go to a party alone, who will help me zip up my nice dress?
And then there were the bigger questions I grappled with:
- Is love even real?
- Or is love merely an invention of a capitalist society?
- Am I destined to be emotionally scarred forever?
- Will I ever find romance again?
I felt utterly alone, even in my solitude, until I found the Worst Partners.
The Birth of the Worst Partners Society
The Worst Partners Society was initiated by Tara, an acquaintance from our local arts scene who had navigated her own divorce a few years prior. Facing new challenges related to co-parenting, custody, and the pandemic, she understood the need for community and rallied a group of women in similar situations. Together, we were determined not just to survive but to thrive—at least enough to help each other with minor home repairs.
From the first meeting, I was struck by how remarkable everyone was. Each woman brought her own beauty, talent, humor, and kindness to the table. For months, I had viewed myself through a lens of shame and rejection, but it was hard to project that same negativity onto these women who were living through similar struggles.
“What should we call ourselves?” someone asked, and before the first glass of wine was poured, another chimed in with “The Worst Partners!”
The first rule of the Worst Partners Society? No Fight Club references—no one needs that. The second? We don’t really need rules, because everyone here is a capable, independent adult, and we all get along just fine.
Support and Camaraderie
I expected our meetings to be filled with venting about exes, but instead, we simply supported one another. We gather monthly to share meals and stories, and we also maintain a lively group chat where little miracles happen:
- “I’ll be alone on Christmas—anyone want to do something fun?”
- “Feeling fancy—who’s up for a nice dinner?”
- “My ex is taking me to court—what should I do?”
- “Is my date this weekend cute or super cute?”
We’ve helped each other out in all sorts of ways: painting rooms, moving furniture, and even babysitting. There was a night I snuggled up with a Worst Partner to watch a movie instead of being alone, and another time my babysitter bailed right before a big gig. I dropped my kids off with a friend who was more than happy to help. There was no guilt or obligation because we understood each other.
A few months into my journey with the Worst Partners, I landed a major comedy gig out of town on a weekend without my kids. The thought of driving three hours alone over treacherous roads was daunting, but the Worst Partners decided to join me.
We met at a friend’s house on a frigid Saturday morning, and there were no delays, lost directions, or petty arguments. Everyone contributed snacks because we’re all fabulous single moms.
With the Worst Partners, the burden of responsibility lightens. When we gather, the load of worry and stress is shared, lifting a weight off our shoulders.
On our way to the comedy show, we stopped at a hot spring to relax and chat. My friends made sure I looked great, right down to sharing earrings to complete my outfit. During the show, I could see them in the audience, laughing at my jokes about divorce, their voices distinct and encouraging.
The return trip was challenging when bad weather forced us to take back roads. Tara drove, and despite our mutual dislike for driving in snow, we supported her. The quiet camaraderie was comforting. Upon arriving home, I found my car encased in ice, and I had forgotten my scraper.
“No worries!” every Worst Partner had one to lend.
The Strength of Single Mothers
Single mothers are incredibly capable. I’ve witnessed it firsthand—we handle everything from DIY repairs to spontaneous celebrations, often with little more than a YouTube video as our guide. Despite our strength, we don’t have to do everything alone. The Worst Partners Society isn’t a substitute for a partner or best friends; it’s a supportive network of women who truly understand.
In the aftermath of my divorce, I struggled to recognize my own strengths or achievements. Being surrounded by the Worst Partners allowed me to see myself through their eyes, which was a crucial step toward rediscovering my identity.
Further Reading
For more on this topic, visit this article and for authoritative insights, check out Intracervical Insemination and the CDC’s resources on pregnancy and related topics.
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Summary:
The article discusses the author’s experiences with isolation during and after her divorce and how she found community and support through a group of women called the Worst Partners Society. This group became a source of friendship, assistance, and understanding that helped her navigate the challenges of single motherhood and life post-divorce. The article emphasizes the importance of community and support, highlighting how shared experiences can lift burdens and foster resilience.