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You’ve Been Forewarned: Your Children Will Experience Significant Transformations During Their Teenage Years
by Lisa Johnson
Updated: Feb. 2, 2022
Originally Published: Feb. 2, 2022
I was caught off guard by the rapid transformation that occurred when my eldest child approached his teenage years. Initially, I worried that something was amiss. I bombarded him with questions, hoping to uncover any issues at school, but all I succeeded in doing was stirring up confusion.
He became withdrawn, appeared frustrated, and lost interest in things he once loved, like Happy Meals and bike rides with me. His time spent in his room increased significantly. The once chatty boy who reveled in family activities had vanished. That year was particularly challenging for me as a parent; I felt lost and disconnected from him. I missed his previous self, and our bond. Fast forward six years, my son is now nearly nineteen, and this quieter version of him is here to stay.
I noticed similar changes in my daughter, who is two years younger than him. Our outings for shopping or gelato were no longer enjoyable for her. The eagerness to help around the house or engage in creative activities was replaced by an aversion to communication. Instead of her bright, colorful wardrobe, she donned hoodies and dark makeup. She expressed a desire for vibrant hair colors and multiple piercings. While I support her autonomy and individuality, the abruptness of these changes was difficult to process. The silence was particularly challenging; it felt as if she was striving to be the complete opposite of me.
It’s painful to transition from having a child who idolizes you to one who seems irritated by your presence.
Next in line was my youngest. Even though I was somewhat prepared this time, I still felt a deep sense of sadness and loneliness. There are moments when I miss the younger versions of my children so much that tears well up in my eyes. I know I’m not alone in this; many mothers share similar feelings, often discussing the tough journey of watching our children morph into teenagers. This period of change can be one of the most challenging transitions in parenting, yet it often goes unspoken.
Regardless, your children will always be your children. They will need you, just as you will need them. As a mother of three teenagers now, I still lack all the answers or the wisdom to share. However, I can confidently say that being prepared—despite the inevitable pain—is crucial. Good luck on your journey.
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Summary:
The teenage years bring significant changes for children, often leaving parents feeling disconnected and emotional. As children transition into adolescence, they may become withdrawn and develop new interests that differ from their childhood selves. While this is a natural part of growing up, it can be a tough adjustment for parents. Preparing for these changes, even though painful, is essential for navigating this challenging phase of parenting.