Being a parent is no easy task, and anyone with kids will confirm that. I used to fall asleep at night lost in the drama of my latest binge-watch, but now I often find myself awake worrying about whether I was a good mom today. Did I raise my voice too much? Was I too strict when my son playfully tackled his sister? Did I manage to keep my cool during our outing with friends? Did I ensure they had enough veggies? I try to remind myself that tomorrow is a new day, a fresh chance to improve. Some days, I succeed, and other days, I don’t.
Through this journey, I’ve come to accept that I embody what some might label as a ‘mean mom.’ Yep, I said it—just don’t let my kids know I confessed. My four-year-old has yelled at me more than once, claiming that I’ve ruined his fun, his day, or even his life. It stings a bit, but after reflecting on it, I realize he’s not entirely wrong. Sometimes, I do put a damper on his fun, but I’m confident that none of my ‘mean’ actions will ruin his life. So, I’m embracing my role and recognizing that it’s okay to be a little tough love. Here are seven traits that might make me a ‘mean mom,’ but they certainly don’t make me a bad one.
1. I Don’t Always Play With Them
Sure, I love doing fun activities with my kids—like trips to the park, mountain hikes, or splashing in rivers. But there are times when I just don’t want to jump on the trampoline or have a water fight. Saying no is vital because kids need to learn that the universe doesn’t revolve solely around them. They must understand that everyone has boundaries, and it’s perfectly acceptable to take a break.
2. I’m Not Always a Sharing Mom
I believe in sharing, but when it comes to my food, I struggle. While I gladly take a bite of my kids’ treats, when they want to sample my meal, I hesitate. My reasoning? They have their own food, and while I appreciate their curiosity, I want them to know that I also deserve to enjoy my meal without sharing every single bite.
3. They Must Clean Up After Themselves
I know I should be focused on creating memories rather than fretting over a messy house, but I can’t help it. With my kids at home full-time, we’ve established a team approach to tidiness. They’ve learned to put their clothes away and shove their toys into bins, which feels like a big win for all of us.
4. I Don’t Cater to Their Culinary Preferences
I enjoy cooking but not enough to prepare a custom menu for my kids. I aim to cook meals that will generally appeal to everyone. The rule is: you have to try what’s served. If you really dislike it, I’ll make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but only until you’re old enough to make one yourself.
5. Two Chances, Then Consequences
I’ve learned that it’s important to set clear boundaries. I give my kids two chances to follow through on my requests. If I have to ask a third time, there are consequences. This helps them understand that actions have repercussions, which ultimately benefits them.
6. Consequences for Actions
If my kids misbehave, they face the consequences. I try to be clear about the potential outcomes of their actions, making it easier for them to understand the “game” of behavior. I aim to keep my promises realistic, avoiding drastic punishments that could backfire on me.
7. I Sometimes Raise My Voice
I’m not proud of this, but it happens. Yelling is not ideal; it leaves both my kids and me feeling bad. However, it doesn’t define me as a bad mom—it makes me human. I strive to improve daily, recognizing that family dynamics can lead to moments of frustration. I aim to apologize and commit to staying calm going forward.
So, there you have it. My so-called ‘mean mom’ traits are laid bare. One day, when my children are grown, they might reflect on this and understand my intentions. Or perhaps not. I just hope that while I may have disrupted their day occasionally, I haven’t impacted their lives negatively.
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Summary:
Being a parent often means making tough decisions and setting boundaries. Embracing the ‘mean mom’ traits can be crucial for teaching children essential life lessons. It’s okay to say no, not share everything, and expect kids to clean up after themselves. By establishing rules and consequences, parents can guide their children toward understanding responsibility while navigating the challenges of motherhood.