Dear 12-Year-Old Me,
I’d ask how you’re doing, but I think I already know the answer.
It’s been around six months since you got your first period and a couple of years since you started wearing a bra. Puberty can feel downright awkward, especially with all the comments about your developing body, but remember, your body is changing. You might wish you looked like supermodels like Mia or Bella, but the truth is, you look like you.
I know that can sting right now. It’s tough when you feel like you can’t change the body you were given. Sure, you could try, but that stuff costs a fortune (and yes, much to Mom’s dismay, you still have quite the colorful vocabulary).
But trust me on this: one day, you won’t cringe at your reflection. In fact, you’ve had moments where you felt okay about yourself, haven’t you?
I can still recall the first time I felt uncomfortable in our skin. It was during a playdate in fourth grade, standing in front of a huge mirror with a friend—let’s call her ‘K’. She was tall and lean, and suddenly, she pointed out how her mom always said that not having a thigh gap meant being “fat.” That idea was foreign to you. You were raised to appreciate your strong, sturdy legs, built for running. And honestly, that strength used to make you proud.
But that comment stuck with you, as harmful words often do.
Then there was the playground teasing from a girl in your class who said, “I’m so glad I don’t have boobs. They’re just fat.” I remember trying to stretch out our baby tee so that our chest and bra lines wouldn’t show, all because of comments we had no control over.
As the years went by, you received an endless stream of remarks about your appearance. I’m really sorry I didn’t shield you from those hurtful judgments. They were damaging, and I’m still trying to move past them now that I’m older. But more importantly, I forgive you for letting someone else’s narrow view of beauty dictate your happiness.
Your thighs are strong and capable, yet soft enough to comfort your children. Those stretch marks you once despised? They’re a part of you now, and you’ve learned to embrace them. You wear short shorts with pride, and guess what? Someone even told you they adore those lines you once labeled as “fat.”
We’ve come to realize that our body isn’t here for others to judge. Beauty isn’t just what someone else sees; it’s about how we feel. Our body is incredible, independent of any external validation. Remember, you brought two amazing children into this world.
So what if our thighs rub together when we walk? Or if our stomach folds over our belt when we sit? We weren’t raised to criticize others for those things, so why do it to ourselves? This is the only body we’ve got—let’s celebrate it!
Love (thick thighs and all),
An older, slightly wiser You
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