We had a long shopping list for Target that included essentials like stain remover, a big bag of tortilla chips, grape jelly, and some neon-colored cereal packed with high fructose corn syrup and questionable food science. My kids had already chosen electric Baby Yoda toothbrushes and their favorite unicorn sparkle toothpaste. After searching for #63 HP printer ink, I noticed my youngest was holding onto the cart while we made our way through the detergent aisles, and I found myself muttering about Spot-Shot. Their eye rolls and whispers clearly indicated they were over my shopping plans. So, I suggested they check out the LEGOs. They vanished. I had left my kids alone in Target.
I had trusted them to navigate the store without harm. Someone call social services because clearly, I must be both incompetent and lazy.
What’s worse is that I do this all the time. Forget the fact that my sons are 11, 10, and 8 years old. Statistically, fewer than 350 children are abducted by strangers in the U.S. each year, with most incidents occurring as kids head to or from school. Yet, there’s still a significant stigma attached to leaving children of their age unattended in public places while I search for printer ink in relative peace.
My kids don’t run wild, touch every item, shout, fight, or steal. When I find them, they’re usually just standing around, chatting like old men at a café. But every time I let them roam in Target, I feel compelled to warn them: “If anyone asks where I am, firmly tell them that your mama said you can be by yourselves. If they ask if you’re lost, say no. If they insist you come to customer service to find me, just say no. If they persist, tell them they are bothering you. You have every right to be wherever you wish in this store as long as you behave.”
I don’t say things like, “Don’t engage with strangers. Yell if someone grabs you.” I’m not worried about abductions. My concern lies with the so-called Good Samaritans. When I leave my kids alone in Target, it’s strangers who I’m anxious about.
I dread that someone will spot them standing idle in the toy aisle, look around for a parent, and ask, “Where’s your mother?” followed by a full-blown panic. This isn’t a baseless fear; it’s happened before.
This time, when I finished shopping and couldn’t see my sons in the toy section, my heart sank. I feared someone had harassed them. I raced to the book aisle, thinking maybe they were engrossed in the latest Dogman book. No kids in sight. Panic set in.
Returning to the toy aisles, I called out their names again. There they stood, hands in their pockets, discussing Marvel LEGO sets. I must have simply missed them as they moved behind an aisle at just the right time. I exhaled deeply. They were fine. I was fine.
My fears aren’t totally unfounded. In 2017, a woman in New York was arrested for leaving her 10-year-old alone in a LEGO Store for two hours while she shopped elsewhere in the mall. Yes, two hours is excessive compared to my quick trip, but police noted the child didn’t know her mother’s whereabouts and had no way to contact her. It’s not like I can provide a detailed itinerary of my movements in Target and leave my kids with a phone. The same article mentioned that the New York Office of Child and Family Services believes some children are responsible and independent enough to be left alone at ages 12 or 13.
My kids deserve autonomy. They shouldn’t have to stand around while I compare prices. So, I tell them to explore LEGOs, books, or Nintendo games. Last I checked, there are no child leashes in size 10 for boys. Thus, I let my kids be on their own in Target. They’ve survived every single time.
Fortunately, no one has called the police on me yet. I shouldn’t have to stress about that, but the times have changed. It’s not like it used to be when we were kids. People are different. They aren’t more likely to abduct children, but they are more inclined to call the authorities on parents.
For more insights into parenting and childcare options, check out this excellent resource on childcare options. If you’re interested in more parenting discussions, visit Rmany’s blog for additional resources.
Summary:
The article discusses the author’s experiences of leaving her children alone in Target while she shops, raising concerns about public perception and the fear of being judged by others. It highlights the independence of her children, the societal changes around parenting, and the balance between giving children freedom and protecting them from potential nosy strangers.