As Halloween fades into memory, conversations about holiday plans, particularly for Thanksgiving, begin to surface. In the past, family disagreements revolved around who would host the festivities. We would argue about who should take the reins (“We have the stepkids this year.”) or what would be most convenient (“We have a newborn to consider.”).
Last year, however, discussions were minimal. It was evident that without a vaccine, everyone would be celebrating in their own small gatherings. This year, we find ourselves navigating murky waters once again. While a vaccine is now available, not all family members have opted to get vaccinated, and there are little ones who are still ineligible for full protection. There’s also the undeniable reality that vaccinated individuals can still contract COVID, though they are generally less likely to face severe outcomes.
This year, I’m approaching the situation logically. I believe we should adhere to the guidelines set forth by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control. Call me cautious, but I prefer to follow the advice of health experts. My family—comprising my partner, our children, my parents, siblings and their families, as well as my partner’s relatives—seems to be on a completely different page regarding these recommendations. In fact, I often feel like the sole advocate for following these guidelines.
Within this mix, there are several unvaccinated adults, some vaccinated members with health concerns, and a couple of children who have only recently become eligible for the vaccine. Despite living in areas categorized as “high transmission,” the group remains divided. According to the CDC, gatherings of multiple households indoors should involve mask-wearing, or ideally be held outdoors. This presents a challenge in colder climates.
I proposed renting outdoor heaters for a safe outdoor gathering while asking everyone to wear masks indoors. Unfortunately, my suggestion was met with either outright rejection or silence from the group. Some older family members, retired and feeling they have little to lose, are unconcerned about the guidelines. Others doubt the CDC’s recommendations, while some who claim to trust the science still dismiss it with flimsy reasoning, like “none of us have gotten it yet, so everything will be fine.” Many are simply exhausted by the ongoing requests to wear masks and maintain social distance.
On the other hand, I feel I have much to lose. I want to ensure a long, healthy life for myself and protect my little one. The prospect of dealing with long-term effects of COVID is daunting, and I don’t want to gamble my health for the sake of convenience during the holidays.
At times, I feel disconnected from my family, as if I’m living in a different reality where advocating for public health guidelines makes me feel like an outsider. In my previous career as a journalist, I often referenced CDC guidelines in my work. The notion that adhering to these recommendations could be perceived as neurotic is something I never anticipated.
The isolation I feel is palpable. It strains relationships that were once close, breeds distrust, and leaves me questioning the very foundation of my family ties. I’ve always aimed to do what’s right—whether it was listening to school officials about drug prevention or fire safety. Now, I just want to navigate this pandemic safely and healthily.
One family member mentioned that “we each have a choice” in how to conduct ourselves during the pandemic. But it feels as though others’ choices are hindering my ability to make safe decisions. With the lack of compromise, I might find myself spending Thanksgiving alone (hopefully with my child) or pressured into an uncomfortable situation. Either scenario feels wrong.
You say you care about me, yet you won’t wear a mask. You say you love me, yet you won’t consider dining outside. I never imagined I would have to be my own advocate in matters of health among those I trust the most.
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In summary, balancing family traditions with health safety during the holidays is proving to be a complex challenge. Differing beliefs around pandemic protocols are creating tension and isolation among loved ones. As one seeks to advocate for safety, it’s essential to remember the importance of communication and compromise.