In his forthcoming memoir “Will,” set to be released on November 9, actor Will Smith reflects on the difficult aspects of his childhood, his career in acting, his marriage, and his journey into fatherhood. A particularly poignant revelation revolves around his abusive father. Smith candidly shares that he once entertained the thought of killing his father to avenge the suffering endured by his mother, Caroline Bright.
He recounts a traumatic incident from his childhood: “At nine years old, I witnessed my father hit my mother so forcefully that she fell to the ground, spitting blood,” he writes in an excerpt shared by a well-known publication. “That moment in that bedroom has, more than any other, defined who I am.”
Smith delves into the complex dynamics he had with his father, William Carroll Smith Sr., throughout his life, a relationship that persisted until his father’s death from cancer in 2016. “My father was abusive, yet he attended every game, play, and recital. He struggled with alcoholism but was sober for each of my movie premieres,” he notes. “The same relentless drive that terrorized my family also provided for us.”
Despite witnessing his father’s violence, Smith admits he chose not to intervene, a decision that has haunted him ever since. “Every achievement — the awards, the attention, the laughter — carries a hidden apology to my mother for my inaction that day,” he reflects. “I failed her in that moment. I let my cowardice win.”
Their parents separated during Smith’s teenage years and officially divorced in 2000. After his father’s cancer diagnosis, Smith became a caregiver, and it was during this period that darker thoughts emerged. “While helping him from his bedroom to the bathroom one night, I felt an unsettling urge arise within me as we neared the stairs,” he shares. “As a child, I promised myself I would avenge my mother… I contemplated pushing him down the stairs, knowing I could likely escape the consequences.”
Smith muses on the power of his celebrity status, stating, “I’m Will Smith. Who would believe I intentionally killed my father? I could have staged it perfectly.” He concludes with a poignant message: “There is nothing in the material world that can offer true peace or fulfillment.”
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In summary, Will Smith’s memoir reveals deep emotional struggles stemming from his father’s abusive behavior and the lasting impact it had on his life. Through his candid reflections, he confronts his past and the complexities of familial relationships.