In a fleeting moment, my supervisor transformed one of the toughest experiences of my life into a memory that I will cherish forever. The anguish I felt—both physically and emotionally—was momentarily lifted. I felt as though I could finally take a deep breath. While I was still sad, I was also filled with gratitude and a flicker of hope.
When I landed my first job as a teen, I believed a good supervisor was someone who would help me find coverage for missed shifts. In my twenties, I thought a good manager was one who assisted me in climbing the career ladder. However, as a mother in my late thirties, I’ve come to realize that a truly good boss is so much more.
In March, I experienced my first miscarriage after three healthy pregnancies. The loss was heartbreaking. I took a sick day to stay in bed, see my doctor, and mourn quietly, sharing my grief only with close family and friends. Their support was invaluable; they checked in on me, visited, and even sent flowers. I will always be grateful to them, but returning to my regular life felt strange. It was as if I were expected to act as though everything was perfectly fine, despite the physical and emotional pain I was enduring.
Time passed, and life moved on. My husband and I decided we wanted to try for another child. I hoped, wished, and prayed. On National Rainbow Baby Day, I saw a faint double line on a pregnancy test, and it felt like a sign from the universe. But just a week later, I began to bleed again. I hadn’t even had the chance to fully embrace the joy of pregnancy.
This miscarriage felt different; I was more aware of what was happening. Although I felt a bit foolish for my initial confidence, I prepared for work as usual the following Monday, despite my heartache. In the midst of my day, my supervisor caught a glimpse of me and asked a simple yet profound question: “Are you okay?”
I replied that I was fine, but she lingered, insisting, “I’m telling you to take the rest of the day off. You should only stay if working will help your mind.” In that single moment, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. She didn’t know about my miscarriage, nor did she pry for details. Instead, she recognized me as a person rather than just an employee. Despite my efforts to mask my pain, she saw through it.
I chose to stay at work that day, partly because I genuinely needed the distraction, but also because my supervisor made me feel valued. Her simple act of kindness created a safe space for me to process my emotions and begin to heal.
That experience taught me an important lesson: while anyone can be a decent boss, true leaders prioritize the individual above the worker. Some days are easier than others. I navigate moments of profound sadness while also having days where I feel ready to take on the world. The hardest part of experiencing pregnancy loss is that there is no universal guide for how to cope; it is a deeply personal journey. I have endured two miscarriages in the past seven months, each requiring its own unique grieving process.
That day at work highlighted the power of true leadership—not just to inspire others but also to help individuals cope and move forward. Although I needed the distraction, I also felt free to leave without fear of judgment. My supervisor’s simple inquiry, “Are you okay?” offered me a sense of relief that I will always appreciate.
For more insights and personal experiences, check out this blog post, and if you’re looking for expert advice on insemination procedures, visit Cleveland Clinic’s resource.
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In summary, my supervisor’s compassionate gesture during my time of grief underscored the importance of empathy in leadership. It is the small acts of kindness that can make a profound difference in someone’s life.