Friends, I hate to say it, but the rumors are true. If you have more than one kid, your youngest is bound to be incredibly pampered and, at the same time, a bit overlooked. It’s an odd phenomenon that seems to intensify with each additional child. In my case, with two siblings sandwiched between the oldest and the youngest, I’ve been shocked by how much I let my baby get away with. Is it that I’ve relaxed or that my kids have worn me down? Probably a bit of both.
Relaxed Parenting and a Touch of Neglect
The typical joke is that you document all the milestones for your first child, but by the time the youngest arrives, it feels routine. You become so accustomed to the chaos that they almost end up raising themselves. In my home, the baby has been nearly brought up by his older siblings, who, let’s face it, aren’t the best caregivers.
I promised myself I wouldn’t fall into the typical trap. I aimed to be just as consistent with my youngest as I was with my first. But, like so many parenting ideals, reality has played out differently. For my firstborn, I meticulously made homemade baby food, spent hours crafting nutritious meals, and surrounded him with educational toys. I even invested thousands in his bilingual education.
But for my youngest? He thrives on a diet of granola bars, chicken nuggets, and pizza. I’d be lucky if he picks up any Mandarin at all, as he often teases me by mispronouncing words and acting clueless.
Perhaps my stricter approach with the older kids, where timeouts and stern consequences were standard, has shifted. With my youngest, I find that I’m just too tired to care about the minor battles. If he doesn’t want to bathe for weeks? Fine. If he prefers granola bars over actual meals? Whatever. He’s not that dirty, and we have decent dental insurance.
Getting Away with It
Regardless of the reasons, my older kids are quick to point out how I let the youngest get away with everything—things they were never allowed to do just a couple of years ago. When I filled out the paperwork for my youngest’s first kung fu belt test, I gave him glowing marks, despite his lack of obedience. Meanwhile, my older kids endured my honest assessments, which often kept them from achieving the same accolades.
Oh, the cries of “unfair” when the youngest snagged the first medal in the family after years of practice! To quell the uproar, I promised my older kids perfect scores for their next tests, which they promptly achieved.
Is It Favoritism or Just Exhaustion?
Let’s address the spoiling issue. Sure, accusations of favoritism arise. I’m easier on him because I let him indulge in candy for breakfast. I give him more screen time. But it’s not favoritism; it’s resignation. I’m just so incredibly tired. Life isn’t that serious. He’ll be okay.
Don’t feel too sorry for the older siblings, though. They cleverly use the youngest as their little ally, knowing I’m more susceptible to his charm. After all, I’ve had fewer years to build up a resistance to his adorable antics.
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In summary, as I navigate the chaos of parenting my youngest child, I’ve come to realize that sometimes, letting go of strict standards is just part of the journey. It’s a balancing act between exhaustion and affection, and in the end, I trust that he’ll turn out just fine.