Ever since my high school days, I’ve always been the friend who brought everyone together. My home was the go-to spot for gatherings, whether it was hosting dances, slumber parties, or just hanging out after school. I cherished those moments spent with friends, raiding the fridge while watching our favorite shows.
In college, I maintained that tradition, ensuring my room was tidy and stocked with snacks. Thursday nights were dedicated to binge-watching 90210 on my sunflower comforter, often returning to find friends dozing on my bed, waiting for me to come back from class. Socializing was my forte, and even when I became a mother, I sought that connection, craving companionship and often inviting friends over for lunch or casual get-togethers.
As the years passed, I found myself leaning more towards introversion, realizing I needed more time alone. Nevertheless, I still welcomed company, albeit in smaller doses. Hosting a few friends still brought me joy, and I was always up for sushi or nachos when invited.
However, after my divorce, I noticed my extroverted side resurfacing. I reached out more, made new friends, and rekindled my hosting spirit. I organized various events with my friends, from jewelry parties to weekend getaways, creating a support network that helped me through a challenging period.
Lately, I feel different. I’ve become the quiet friend—the one who doesn’t respond to texts, avoids phone calls, and makes excuses to skip social outings. While I don’t mind this version of myself, I’m unsure why I feel this way.
The truth is, I’m overwhelmed and exhausted. Right now, all I want to do is work out, spend time with my kids, and write. I lack the energy for anything else. I need solitude to recharge. Thankfully, my friends understand, but I must also come to terms with this need for quiet.
I’ve never experienced such a prolonged desire for solitude before, and I need to accept that it’s okay. Perhaps it’s a reaction to trying to fill a void through socializing, or maybe it’s just a natural evolution in my life. Whatever the reason, it’s crucial that I embrace this phase.
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Summary: In this piece, the author reflects on her transition from being the social butterfly to becoming the quiet friend who needs solitude to recharge. She explores the reasons behind this shift and emphasizes the importance of accepting oneself during different life phases.