I never quite grasped how challenging it would be to secure reliable childcare for my autistic child until various alarming moments opened my eyes. Perhaps it was the time she decided to leap off the porch steps, or her obsession with unscrewing lightbulbs, regardless of their temperature. Maybe it was all those instances when she dashed toward potential hazards without a second thought. At some point, I came to a crucial realization: even the most reputable childcare options posed safety risks for my daughter.
There was one specific occasion when I had to hire a babysitter, and I left extensive instructions regarding my concerns, particularly about securing our front, back, and side doors. I texted her about these precautions before leaving, provided a note, and even sent a reminder text about an hour after I left. Each of our doors features three locks—necessary measures to ensure Evelyn’s safety.
Later, I discovered that the babysitter had underestimated the importance of those locks, leading my daughter to wander outside. She wasn’t neglectful; she simply forgot to lock one of the three locks. This minor error would be inconsequential in a typical household, but for us, the stakes were much higher. As the director of the Yale Toddler Developmental Disabilities Clinic stated, “Toddlers with autism are in constant danger because they don’t understand threats.”
Every parent worries about their child’s safety, but for those of us with children who have disabilities—especially nonverbal ones like my daughter—these concerns morph from mere anxiety into a pressing reality. In the realm of childcare, no one understands my child’s needs quite like I do, regardless of how skilled or compassionate they may be.
A study published in the journal Pediatrics revealed that almost half of the parents surveyed with autistic children reported their child had gone missing at some point. Alarmingly, 24% of these children had been missing long enough to raise serious concerns, while 26% faced drowning risks and 65% were at risk of traffic-related injuries. These statistics are particularly daunting given the unique challenges associated with locating a missing child with autism.
If my daughter were to wander off, I can almost guarantee she wouldn’t respond to her name, even if I were the one calling her. Instead, she might run away from flashing lights or sirens and would likely avoid reaching out to a stranger for help.
To truly feel secure about her safety, I can no longer depend on college student babysitters or in-home daycare facilities. It’s not that there’s anything inherently wrong with these options; it’s just that many caregivers lack the necessary training to manage the specific needs of my daughter.
I worry constantly about her running away or touching a hot stove, but my concerns extend beyond her safety to the potential harm she could face from others because of her disability. A study in Nebraska indicated that children with any intellectual disability are four times more likely to be victims of sexual abuse. Although precise statistics for children with autism are scarce, research suggests this group is particularly vulnerable.
Not all children with ASD experience severe communication challenges, but about 40% of them are nonverbal. Those who can’t advocate for themselves are prime targets for abuse; after all, if they cannot express themselves, who will they confide in? For me, this risk is simply not worth taking.
I recognize that my perspective comes from a place of privilege as a work-from-home mom who requires minimal childcare. Many families do not have the luxury of choice and must rely on in-home daycare or babysitters. These families often face significant challenges in maintaining stable childcare, particularly when providers lack the resources to care for autistic children. Caregivers can quickly become overwhelmed, leading to burnout and leaving families without reliable options.
Research indicates that mothers of children with autism typically spend an average of 9.5 hours a day caring for their child, compared to just 5.3 hours for parents of typically developing children. These stark differences highlight the necessity of services like respite care for families like mine. Finding someone I trust to care for my daughter, aside from family, is no easy task. While I work from home, respite care would provide me with an essential break—allowing me to tackle household tasks, catch up on work, or even enjoy a much-needed nap, knowing that a trained professional is looking after my daughter.
While the search for suitable childcare for an autistic child can be overwhelming, it is not insurmountable. Connecting with local support groups for parents of children with ASD, discussing resources with your child’s developmental pediatrician, and exploring services offered by organizations such as Pathfinder can make a significant difference.
Initially, I struggled with the idea of accepting that we needed additional support, fearing I might deprive someone else of that help. However, I came to understand that we are not a typical household, and these resources exist for families like ours. Although I work from home, it is perfectly acceptable for me to seek and accept a break too.
Summary:
Finding adequate childcare for an autistic child can be a daunting challenge. Parents often face unique safety concerns and must navigate the complexities of traditional childcare options, which may not be equipped to handle the specific needs of their children. The need for trained caregivers is crucial, as the risks associated with unprepared babysitters or daycares can have severe consequences. Respite care provides essential relief for parents and helps ensure that autistic children receive the specialized attention they require. Connecting with local support networks and exploring available resources can empower families to find the right childcare solutions.