As Halloween approaches, here’s your annual nudge to remember to be kind to children. No one intends to be a Halloween grinch, yet every year, I see parents sharing stories about their kids—often those with invisible special needs—who faced unpleasant encounters because an adult chose to be unkind.
This year marks my first Halloween as a mom of three enthusiastic trick-or-treaters, and I couldn’t be more thrilled! My kids are eight, five, and nearly two years old, and it’s a joy to see them all finally old enough to revel in the fun of trick-or-treating. However, alongside my excitement, I feel a twinge of anxiety.
I have three kids, but only one of them might have a challenging experience with an adult who has a sour demeanor. My eldest son, at almost nine, is a rule-follower to the core. He waits patiently while others knock, rings the doorbell, steps back, and cheerfully says, “Trick or treat!” He’ll take one piece from the bowl, express his gratitude, and move on to the next house, embodying the perfect trick-or-treater.
My youngest, dressed as a swan or a princess, won’t fully grasp what’s happening but will charm everyone with her adorable “Pwease canny?” Kids often overlook the rules when they’re that little, and she’ll surely wiggle her way into hearts regardless.
The real wild card is my middle child, who is five. He’s incredibly bright and an absolute sweetheart. He’s known for his generous spirit, sharing whatever he has with his siblings. However, he is also autistic. On a regular day, he’s laid-back, but Halloween brings a whirlwind of flashing lights, loud noises, and a crowd, which can be overwhelming for him.
While he loves Halloween and is eager to collect candy with his siblings, he may not remember all the little rules. He might not say “trick or treat” or “thank you” at every door, and that’s okay. We’ll be there to support him, but we won’t spend the evening scolding him for not behaving like his neurotypical peers. He deserves to enjoy Halloween without feeling pressured to conform.
If he encounters an adult who demands the “magic words” or scolds him for not engaging, it could leave him feeling confused and disheartened. He is already putting in tremendous effort to participate, and if he can only smile and hold out his bag, that should be enough.
It’s crucial to remember that many children who come to your door might be neurodivergent, and you won’t be able to tell just by looking at them. Autism, ADHD, and other neurological differences don’t have a specific appearance. Please be generous and understanding—don’t refuse candy to kids who don’t say “trick-or-treat” or who might act a little differently.
Everyone is excited on Halloween; even neurotypical kids might forget their manners in the thrill of the night. So, let’s make it fun for everyone. Treat all kids who knock on your door and remember that Halloween is about joy. If you’re not up for that, simply turn off your porch light and stay inside.
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Summary
As Halloween approaches, remember to show kindness to all children, especially those with special needs. This year, I’m excited about my three trick-or-treaters, but I’m also aware that my middle child, who is autistic, may face challenges due to the overwhelming environment. It’s essential to be understanding and generous, as many kids might not fit the typical mold. Let’s keep Halloween fun for everyone.