As parents, it’s easy to relate to the feeling of watching a child miss out on special moments, like not being invited to a birthday celebration. We notice the child on the playground who is alone, hoping someone will reach out to them. This sentiment resonates deeply for many parents of kids who identify as gender non-conforming (GNC), transgender, or non-binary when it comes to National Sons and Daughters Day. These celebrations can often feel like a reminder of exclusion rather than inclusion.
These days, which were initially inspired by National Take Your Daughters to Work Day—a celebration aimed at supporting young women’s professional aspirations—seem to reinforce a rigid understanding of gender that many families don’t fit into. For instance, Laura, a mother from Austin, Texas, has twin 14-year-olds, one identifying as cis-gender male and the other as non-binary. She questions the necessity of gender-specific holidays, stating, “We should love and support our children frequently. A national holiday won’t change that.” Her perspective highlights the emotional toll these celebrations can create for families dealing with gender identity issues.
Similarly, Alex, a mother from San Diego, shares her experience after her child came out as transgender. The first Sons and Daughters Day following this moment was a painful reminder of how her family doesn’t conform to traditional norms. “I grieved for the daughter I thought I had, but what was most painful was the sense of exclusion of my trans son,” she reflects.
The conversation continues as families navigate these national celebrations. Kriz, a parent of a gender-fluid 16-year-old from San Francisco, expresses concern that these days feel more like a marketing gimmick than a genuine recognition of all children.
These celebrations are observed on August 11th, with National Daughters Day on September 25th and National Sons Day on September 28th. Social media often overflows with posts celebrating these occasions, making it difficult for families who don’t fit neatly into traditional gender roles to find representation.
The push for these holidays has gained traction in recent years, particularly after a viral campaign led by a mother named Jill Nico to celebrate the role of sons in supporting their families. While these initiatives have reached a global audience, many still feel overlooked, especially those who identify outside the gender binary.
For families with non-binary or GNC children, it’s crucial to recognize that these celebrations often overlook their experiences. Data from the nonprofit Kids Center revealed that about 51% of children identify as male and 49% as female, leaving a significant number of children without acknowledgment. Approximately 2 million Americans identify as non-binary or gender non-conforming, underscoring the need for inclusivity.
The value of these national holidays lies in providing families with moments to connect and celebrate. However, it’s essential that these events welcome all identities. Adopting a more inclusive approach could make a significant difference, ensuring that every child feels seen and appreciated.
As we reflect on these gendered holidays, let’s consider how we can honor children who don’t identify strictly as sons or daughters. By embracing a broader view and recognizing diverse identities, we can create a more inclusive environment for all families.
For more insights on creating a welcoming space for all identities, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination and learn how to foster understanding and support for GNC and non-binary children. Additionally, explore this blog post on childhood dreams for a deeper understanding of family dynamics.
Summary
National Sons and Daughters Day, while meant to celebrate children, often excludes those who are GNC, transgender, or non-binary. Parents like Laura and Alex share their experiences of feeling left out during these celebrations, emphasizing the need for inclusivity. With millions identifying outside traditional gender binaries, it’s essential to create a welcoming environment that acknowledges and celebrates all identities. By reimagining these holidays, we can foster a more accepting society.