When I was 12 years old, my mother took on her first job, answering phones at an engineering firm. I distinctly remember my father’s disapproval of her working; he was controlling and preferred her to focus solely on him and the children. I also recall the moment she received a promotion after a year, which soon led to her moving out.
A decade later, she confided in me about her thoughts during that pivotal time: “I didn’t want to leave you kids, but you were old enough to be home alone, and I realized I needed to escape that marriage.” For years, my mother had endured life under my father’s strict rules. Taking that job was part of her plan to gain independence: she aimed for a promotion that would allow her to live on her own. It all became clear one summer evening while we watched the sunset at the beach.
“Your father was away for a men’s weekend, and we had fried chicken for dinner on the beach,” she reminisced. (My dad loathed the beach, while my mom adored it.) “I watched you all walk ahead of me in the sand and felt so much happier just being with you kids. I wanted the freedom to live life on my own terms, free from control.”
When she moved out, she had only hand-me-down furniture from her coworkers. The house was in my father’s name, and since she had just started working, he believed she didn’t deserve any of the proceeds from its sale.
Her new apartment was a small one-bedroom, and our family of five squeezed into it for nearly a year until she saved enough to buy a modest home. After that, we rarely saw my father. My mother raised four teenagers on her own while holding a full-time job. Somehow, she made it work.
Years later, when my husband and I decided to part ways, I found myself without a full-time job for over 13 years. I had no personal finances and desperately wanted to remain in the home we had created for our children. I lay awake at night contemplating my options.
I thought, I can buy groceries from the dollar store, sell some clothes, start a side business, and use my credit card for cash back rewards. There were many sleepless nights filled with uncertainty. Having relied on my husband financially for so long, I felt lost about how to open a 401K, learn to invest, or be frugal enough to keep my beloved home. But eventually, I figured it out.
Similarly, my sister decided to pursue a career as a dental hygienist after having three kids. With her husband busy as a school administrator, she needed to commute an hour and a half to attend school. Despite the challenges, she made sacrifices and graduated, landing her dream job.
This resilience is what amazes me about mothers. We are innate nurturers, balancing multiple responsibilities while working hard and giving endlessly. Yes, we have our breakdowns and can vent about the mental burdens we carry. But we instinctively know how to overcome obstacles because we often have to fight harder than men to achieve our goals. And when kids are involved, our protective instincts kick in, amplifying our determination.
We might not always have a clear plan, but we will find a way. Even when we feel like giving up or face failures, we push through. When we hit rock bottom, we adapt and rise. Once we recognize our capabilities, there’s truly nothing thrown our way that we can’t handle. So, if you’re facing what seems like an insurmountable challenge, remember: you are more capable and resourceful than you realize.
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In summary, the tenacity of mothers shines through in their ability to navigate difficult situations. From personal experiences of overcoming marital challenges to pursuing dreams, mothers exemplify resilience. Their journeys are a testament to the strength and resourcefulness that define motherhood.