Last week, I received a voicemail from my youngest daughter’s principal. My initial impression of him is that he works tirelessly to manage the chaos of parent pick-up without it escalating. So, when I heard the message indicating there had been an incident at school, I was caught off guard. Although he didn’t sound overly concerned, receiving a call from the principal—no matter your age—can be nerve-wracking, so I promptly returned his call.
Fortunately, there was no significant issue. It wasn’t about masks or quarantines, as I had feared. Instead, my daughter’s principal informed me that my six-year-old had reported to a playground teacher that three boys were chasing her in an attempt to corner her for a kiss. I wasn’t angry, just taken aback. My immediate thought was, especially considering the ongoing pandemic, absolutely not.
I understand they’re merely six years old, and it could seem trivial. After all, kids play games, right? Wrong. While playing tag is a game, chasing someone to invade their personal space and attempt a kiss is not. These children are not too young to grasp that concept. It is never acceptable to violate someone else’s personal space, and thankfully, the principal recognized this. He assured me that he addressed the situation with the entire class and spoke individually with the boys involved.
Yes, Personal Space Is Important
I feel it’s essential to commend how her principal managed this situation. If I had heard the phrase “boys will be boys,” I would have been ready to unleash my inner mama bear through the phone. I’ve raised my daughters to value their personal space and to respect others. Having spent much of my life trying not to cause a scene in uncomfortable situations, I understand the repercussions of failing to establish boundaries. I refuse to let this be the case for my daughters.
Will this become a humorous anecdote at her future wedding? Perhaps. But I’m not ready to find the humor just yet. Times have changed since I was a child, and the outdated notion of “boys will be boys” should have been left behind long ago. No matter their age, children must learn that their right to personal space is significant.
Let’s Emphasize Practice, Not Just Theory
Conversely, it’s equally vital to teach our children to respect others’ space. This same daughter, who was chased, is a genuine sweetheart. Every child she plays with instantly becomes her friend, and if you’re her friend, she’s likely to offer a hug. I often remind her that she should ask before hugging someone. Not everyone appreciates hugs, and especially in today’s world, it’s not wise to hug a stranger met at a sibling’s soccer practice.
It might seem peculiar that I insist my six-year-old ask for permission before hugging someone, but it’s never too early to instill the values of consent and personal space. She should seek permission rather than forgiveness after an uncomfortable encounter. I hope these lessons will guide her in setting her own boundaries as she grows. This experience reaffirmed that these teachings are being understood.
She felt uncomfortable with the boys invading her personal space, and her principal made it clear that she did the right thing by speaking up. He assured her that she had done nothing wrong and that no one has the right to touch her body. That validation is crucial. Too often, incidents like this are brushed aside, not out of disregard but due to a lack of resources in schools or childcare settings to manage seemingly minor issues. When children are encouraged to speak out and no action follows, it can be disheartening. We see this repeated with survivors of assault and harassment.
As I mentioned, kids will be kids, but that doesn’t mean their boundaries shouldn’t be respected. The sooner we help them comprehend this, the better our future will be. I’m grateful to have my daughter’s principal as an ally in this journey.
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Summary:
In a recent experience, a mother expressed gratitude to her daughter’s principal for addressing an inappropriate incident involving boys chasing her daughter on the playground. The principal’s response was commendable, as he rejected the outdated mentality of “boys will be boys” and emphasized the importance of personal space and consent. The mother highlighted the necessity of teaching children about boundaries while also respecting others’ space. This incident reaffirmed her commitment to ensuring her daughters understand their rights to personal space and the importance of speaking up.