I like to think of myself as quite generous. Growing up in a household with three siblings meant sharing was second nature. Our mother rarely brought home anything just for one person, and many holidays were marked by a single shared gift rather than individual presents. While I accepted this, one of my sisters took a different approach, marking her belongings with her name to keep them distinctly hers. It seems that sharing can have varying impacts on people.
Now that I have three kids of my own, personal space is a rare commodity. Between the kids and the chaos of daily life, it often feels like nothing is truly mine—be it my bed, my food, or even my time in the bathroom. However, as they grow more independent, I’ve decided there are certain things I simply won’t share with them or my partner.
It’s not that I believe keeping certain things to myself is selfish or unkind; it really depends on the context. For instance, I once had a neighbor who wouldn’t let her husband wear her clothes or use her skincare products, which seemed unreasonable. Here are four things I absolutely won’t share:
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My Bathroom Time
In my previous marriage, I used to allow my partner to join me in the bathroom, but those days are long gone. My time in there is now sacred. If he needs to use the restroom while I’m showering or getting ready, that’s fine in an emergency. But I refuse to share the space while I’m, say, taking care of personal business. After years of having an audience (thanks to my kids) during those moments, I’ve drawn the line.
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My Fries
When I order fries with my meal, I can tell when my partner pretends he doesn’t want any, only to devour over half of my portion. Fries are my comfort food, and I don’t want to share them. If he insists he doesn’t want any, I’ll still order a portion for him, but let’s be honest: I want to enjoy them without sharing. The same goes for cake, ice cream, and other treats. If he wants some, he can get his own.
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My Pillow
Sleep is vital, and I need my space. While I appreciate a quick cuddle, I will quickly retreat to my own pillow and personal space. If he tries to encroach on my pillow, it can lead to some serious irritation. I like my own breathing space when I sleep.
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My Bank Account
After having a joint account with my ex, I prefer to keep my finances separate. I’m open to having a joint account for bills or savings for shared goals, but I want my own account too. Mixing finances can lead to unnecessary scrutiny over spending choices. I don’t need anyone questioning my spending on things like skincare or snacks.
Aside from these four items, I’m generally open to sharing other things. I’m comfortable using the same toothbrush or sharing other personal items, and I can even discuss bathroom experiences. However, I’d rather maintain a little mystery when it comes to those personal moments.
In summary, while I consider myself a good sharer, there are certain boundaries I’ve set. Don’t touch my fries unless you want to face the consequences.
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