I wouldn’t label myself as someone who is particularly anxious. Perhaps that’s just my way of avoiding the truth. If you were to look up anxiety in the dictionary, you might find a picture of me hyperventilating into a paper bag right next to it. I am the epitome of a “nervous Nelly.”
I can’t pinpoint exactly when I recognized that I struggle with anxiety, but coming to terms with it has been hugely beneficial in my journey through adulthood. I’m aware of my triggers and have discovered coping strategies that don’t rely on medication (though I recommend consulting your healthcare provider for personalized advice).
All of this was before the pandemic. And what makes anxiety even worse? The unknown. What amplifies it to a breaking point? Pregnancy hormones. Yes, I’ve brewed my own anxiety cocktail and irresponsibly wrapped it in a pandemic bow.
Let me clarify—my baby has been the most incredible blessing in my life over the past year and a half. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, she’s there with her sweet smiles and delightful coos, providing the comfort I desperately need. I genuinely thank the universe for her and her siblings every night. But the panic still lingers.
Instead of focusing on the typical worries new mothers have, the Delta variant has barged in, making itself at home more swiftly than Goldilocks in the three bears’ residence. The constant chatter surrounding COVID is weighing heavily on my already unstable hormones.
I am genuinely struggling.
My concerns extend beyond the usual new mom anxieties. Instead of just worrying about whether my baby is breathing during her naps, I find myself asking, “Is that breathing normal? Why does she sound congested? What germs have her brothers brought home?” Rather than soaking in her warmth, I’m consumed with the fear that she might have a fever. I’ve checked her temperature more times than I can count.
I’m not functioning at my best.
And it’s not just the baby—anytime anyone in the house so much as sniffs, I feel a jolt of panic. My heart races, and I remain in a constant state of alertness. Don’t even get me started on what feels like the worst allergy season we’ve ever faced! Allergies and the fear of lung infections are a terrifying combo. I’ve convinced myself that we’re a sneeze away from COVID crashing back into our lives.
On top of that, I’m worried about everyone outside our home too. It seems like adults are managing the pandemic worse than children. I can’t rely on anyone to maintain social distance, wear masks, get vaccinated, or at the very least, wash their hands properly. Why is there such a lack of responsibility?
When I discovered I was pregnant last fall, I was hopeful that by the time my baby arrived, COVID would be fading into the background. I envisioned normalcy—traveling, attending school without fear, and enjoying time outdoors without apprehension. Instead, I’m navigating postpartum challenges with a baby in my arms, constantly reminding my older kids to keep their masks on, avoid touching anything, stay off the ground, and wash their hands before even looking at their sister. And it’s a relentless cycle.
Lately, I’ve been avoiding the news because just thinking about COVID sends me into a two-hour spiral of doomscrolling. I’ve mentally prepared for every worst-case scenario if we face COVID again and have compiled a vitamin list that’s longer than my six-year-old’s Christmas wish list. The combination of the pandemic, anxiety, and exhaustion from a newborn has turned me into someone I hardly recognize. I can’t wait for this to end.
The Delta variant is genuinely robbing me of my postpartum joy. And while I know things will eventually get better, right now, I’m struggling. Please send a little prayer my way.
For more insights on navigating these challenges, check out this interesting blog post or find authoritative information on pregnancy at this resource. If you want to learn more about this topic, visit here for expert guidance.
Summary
The author shares her experience of heightened anxiety during the postpartum period due to the Delta variant of COVID-19. She discusses the added stressors of parenting during a pandemic, including constant worry over her baby’s health and the behavior of those around her. Despite the joy her baby brings her, the anxiety surrounding the ongoing pandemic significantly impacts her mental state. She expresses a longing for normalcy and a plea for understanding and support during these challenging times.