Let me be real: I’m furious, and for me, swearing is a form of self-care. You’ve been warned.
Honestly, my anger seems to have no end lately. From those who refuse to acknowledge Covid and would rather take horse medication than a safe vaccine, to the anti-maskers protesting outside schools (of all places), to the wildfires in California and the heartbreaking situation in Afghanistan… I’m contemplating packing my bags and escaping to a tiny house in the wilderness.
The recent laws in Texas that resemble something out of a dystopian novel, combined with the Supreme Court’s inaction, just leaves me feeling like, forget everyone.
I don’t want to feel this way. I used to be a glass-half-full person, someone who saw the good in humanity. But after last year, I’m not so sure anymore. I thought I’d seen it all, but the behavior of people during this crisis has been shocking. Friends I thought were reasonable turned out to be vocal anti-maskers, and those I regarded as kind revealed racist views while insisting they weren’t. It’s been devastating and has shaken my faith in humanity.
While I thought I had reached peak disappointment during the pandemic’s height, here we are again. The anti-maskers haven’t vanished; they’ve only become louder, now shouting at school board meetings. Those who were once quiet Trump supporters have morphed into anti-vaxxers, despite overwhelming evidence of vaccine safety. Just a few months ago, we were nearing the end of the pandemic, and now it feels like we’re back at square one.
Those of us who did our part—who stayed home, wore masks, and got vaccinated—are fed up. We’re tired of paying for the selfish actions of others and having pointless arguments with people who seem to have suddenly become experts in health despite barely passing high school chemistry. We’re exhausted from trying to convince others to care.
As a highly sensitive and empathetic person, I’m struggling to maintain that compassion. My capacity for empathy has dwindled, leaving me with little more than pity at times.
Like I said, I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to hold onto this intense rage or think that “people suck.” I want to believe in the goodness of humanity.
That said, when people reveal their true colors, it also becomes easier to find those who genuinely bring joy into my life. Over the last few years, superficial friendships have grown into meaningful ones based on shared priorities. I’ve found solace with friends who use social media to debunk misinformation and promote the importance of vaccines. When I share my struggles, others have responded with their own, creating a sense of solidarity.
It’s time to elevate my approach to life. I’m ready for a scorched earth policy. We need to dismantle what isn’t working to rebuild something better.
It’s not just people who are disappointing—our entire system feels broken. Climate change is wreaking havoc, our education system is crumbling under systemic issues, and our healthcare system is failing us. Justice seems out of reach. So yes, my prevailing thought these days is to forget everything and everyone.
But I don’t genuinely wish to abandon all. I don’t want to retreat to that tiny house in the woods and become a recluse. I want to surround myself with those who uplift and inspire me, who genuinely care about others. I seek to build a life that serves the needs of many rather than a privileged few. I want to engage with individuals who share values, understanding that differing opinions can coexist when there’s common ground.
Everything else feels like a distraction, draining my energy and spirit. In these tumultuous times, I need to conserve my emotional reserves.
Fortunately, when I cut out the negativity, I can see that those who bring joy into my life far outnumber the others. The past few years have been a gut punch, but I refuse to accept that humanity is irredeemable. Goodness still exists; we just have to find it, and sometimes that requires burning away the old to make room for the new.
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Summary:
This article expresses deep frustration with the current state of society, particularly regarding Covid-19 responses and the behavior of certain individuals. The author reflects on their struggle with anger and disappointment while also acknowledging the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences. It emphasizes the need for change and the desire to find and nurture genuine connections.