Every mother understands the weight of the words, “Can we talk?”—they often signal a conversation that could reveal something significant and potentially challenging. So, when my son entered my room during his study break for finals, I sensed he needed my undivided attention.
“Mom, there’s something I need to share,” he began. “I’ve been dealing with depression for the past year. I started talking to Mr. Adams at school, who suggested that I reach out to you and Dad. He insisted that you both would listen and could help me because I really need it.”
To be honest, I was taken aback. I might have anticipated him saying he was overwhelmed with studying for finals or stressed about college applications. But the admission of depression? That caught me completely off guard.
I know the signs of adult depression—withdrawal, a loss of interest in activities, sadness, and lethargy. Yet, none of this seemed to apply to my son. Working from home, I could hear him laughing at funny videos and engaging with friends, playing sports, and eagerly starting each day.
A whirlwind of thoughts raced through my mind. I wanted to respond, “You’re not depressed; I hear you laughing!” But in that moment, I realized that teenage depression can manifest differently—it might appear as numbness or apathy, even if they seem fine on the surface.
I understood that this conversation was tough for him. My husband was out coaching a lacrosse game, leaving me to navigate this crucial moment. I couldn’t shake the memory of a friend whose son had tragically taken his life. This boy, who seemed so happy and engaged, had hidden his struggles until it was too late. It haunted me, knowing how quickly things could turn.
As my son opened up, I realized he had been concealing his feelings—perhaps intentionally or perhaps without realizing it. I was blindsided. He was articulate about his feelings and asked for help. We discussed options, including a therapist I knew who could see him. I assured him he was not alone and that we would support him every step of the way.
After sharing this overwhelming burden, he visibly relaxed, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. When my husband returned, our son explained everything, and we collectively devised a plan. Over the following months, we met with specialists, conducted research, and maintained open communication about his feelings and treatment.
It took time, but things gradually improved. I found myself crying—crying for the time my son spent suffering alone, crying for the signs I missed, and crying with relief that he had reached out for help. I was grateful for Mr. Adams, who had encouraged him to speak up.
At college orientation, my son participated in an exercise called Dear World, where individuals share their stories. He sent us a photo of himself with the words “I CAN FEEL THE DAYLIGHT” on his arm and “AGAIN” on his open palm. It was powerful and brave.
Seeing that image filled me with emotion; my son was openly sharing his journey to help others. He expressed a desire for his story to encourage someone else to seek help. I was thrilled when he agreed to let me share his experience, believing it could resonate with other parents.
What we’ve learned is crucial: engage in open conversations about mental health, encourage sharing, listen for signs of struggle, and reassure them of your support. Discussing feelings of numbness or darkness can help bring these issues to light and pave the way for healing.
“Can we talk, Mom?”
“Always, any time, day or night…”
For more on this topic, consider exploring resources like Healthline’s article on IUI for valuable insights or check out this other blog post to stay informed. Additionally, if you’re looking for expert information on the subject, Intracervical Insemination is a reputable source.
Summary:
In this heartfelt narrative, a mother describes an unexpected and serious conversation with her son about his struggles with depression. Despite his outward demeanor, he reveals his internal battles, leading to a crucial discussion about mental health and the importance of seeking help. The story highlights the need for open dialogue, understanding, and support in addressing mental health issues in young adults.