We all have that nagging voice in our minds that tells us we’re not good enough, right? If you’ve never experienced this, I’d love to know your secrets! For as long as I can remember, that inner critic has been whispering that I’m not deserving of anything worthwhile. And just to clarify, when I refer to this voice, I’m talking about our internal dialogue, not actual voices. I’ve affectionately named mine Gertrude. And let me tell you, Gertrude can be a real pain.
Gertrude embodies the persistent imposter syndrome that I grapple with daily. So, what exactly is imposter syndrome? To me, it’s that relentless feeling of being a fraud, like you’re just pretending to be competent. It’s that sinking feeling that no matter how hard you try, you’ll always fall short. When my child’s teachers compliment my parenting, I can’t help but think they’re just being polite. And at work, when the boss praises my performance, Gertrude chimes in, “They’re just being nice. You’re not really that great.” I wish I could say I’m exaggerating.
Reflecting on this, I stumbled upon a situation this past year that truly tested me in ways I wasn’t prepared for, but ultimately became essential for my personal growth. Writing has always been my passion. I wore the title “bookworm” like a badge of honor. I loved immersing myself in stories and wanted to create them too. I dreamed of being an author, poet, or writer. However, well-meaning teachers and counselors warned me that those paths might not pay the bills. They insisted I needed a more practical plan.
So, I tried to create one. I bounced from one career idea to another—first wanting to be a teacher, then a psychologist, even considering law. Somehow, I found myself in sales and banking, and most recently worked as a fraud investigator for over five years.
In short, I never felt like I was doing this adulting thing correctly. It felt as if I were an imposter. Then, just when I least expected it, an opportunity to write came my way, a chance I’d been waiting for my entire life! But Gertrude was right there, reminding me how unqualified I was.
I started writing a few articles—some were assigned, and others were topics I pitched myself. The feedback was generally positive, yet instead of feeling empowered, my self-doubt grew stronger. Gertrude was back at it: “They’re just being polite. You’re a fraud.”
But here’s the thing: that opportunity was everything I had ever wanted. The stars aligned, and I stepped into something I had always dreamed of, despite my reservations. I realized Gertrude’s influence was complete nonsense. There was no obligation for anyone to keep working with me. Looking back, I see how my insecurities clouded my perception of my worth.
I often wonder where these feelings of inadequacy originate. Yes, I’m addressing this in therapy, not just for myself but for my daughters as well. I want them to pursue their dreams fearlessly, without the shadow of self-doubt holding them back. I’ve spent far too many years letting fear dictate my choices, and it’s time to break free from that pattern. So, to anyone reading this: don’t let your inner critic convince you that you can’t achieve your dreams. You are worthy of whatever you desire in life. It’s a simple truth, yet one we often deny ourselves. You are enough, just as you are.
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In summary, imposter syndrome is a pervasive challenge that can hinder our self-worth and aspirations. Recognizing that inner voice and confronting it is essential for personal growth. Embrace your uniqueness and strive for your dreams without the weight of self-doubt.