There are moments when scrolling through your phone turns into a mindless activity, until something catches your eye and pulls you in. That happened to me recently when I stumbled upon an article discussing the best sexual position for those with a vulva. Suddenly, I was alert and curious.
If you’re unfamiliar with it (I certainly was before this), it’s called the Venus Butterfly. Given that I hadn’t truly engaged with my surroundings for a while, this revelation was refreshing.
For many vulva owners, reaching orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone can be challenging. Studies show that only about 25% of us achieve climax this way. Honestly, who wants just a quarter of anything? Whether it’s ice cream or a favorite show, that’s hardly satisfying. This statistic means that a whopping 75% of vulva owners might not be getting the pleasure they deserve, myself included. It often seems that without direct clitoral stimulation, achieving orgasm is a distant goal. This realization has led many of us to explore new techniques to enhance our experiences, not just for personal satisfaction but also to please our partners.
So, when I learned about a sex position specifically designed to honor the vulva, I was eager to share it with others while also wanting to experience it myself. I’m thrilled to report that the Venus Butterfly is as delightful as it sounds—I’ve reached orgasm three times in just one week. This position is also notably comfortable for the receiver.
Originally detailed in the 1988 book, The One Hour Orgasm: How to Learn the Amazing “Venus Butterfly” Technique by Leah and Bob Schwartz, this method involves a unique approach. The giver stimulates the receiver’s clitoris or hood with the penis positioned at either two o’clock or ten o’clock. One thumb is placed gently along the clitoral shaft while the other is positioned within the vagina, ensuring minimal movement. The process is lubricated and involves maintaining steady pressure until just before orgasm, then slowing down to prolong pleasure or create multiple orgasms.
But that’s only one way to enjoy this technique! As highlighted in Men’s Health, the Venus Butterfly is also ideal for oral sex. The receiver lies on their back with legs spread, resembling butterfly wings, providing optimal access to the vulva and vagina for the partner kneeling between their legs.
Kenneth Play, founder of the Sex Hacker Pro Series, notes that this position enables stimulation of multiple erogenous zones, enhancing the overall pleasure for vulva owners.
If you’re thinking this sounds like an upgraded missionary position, you’re correct. That’s reassuring for many since it’s a familiar position, making it less daunting. The twist is that with the legs raised, you offer your partner exclusive access to your most sensitive areas.
Enhancing the experience with toys and fingers during oral can transform your pleasure, allowing you to witness the beautiful evolution of your orgasm. However, it’s essential to recognize that everyone’s bodies are unique, and if the Venus Butterfly doesn’t suit you, there are countless other options to explore. Life’s too short for anything less than enjoyable.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, my partner seems eager to explore some butterflies—sounds like the perfect opportunity!
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Summary
The Venus Butterfly is a sexual technique designed to enhance pleasure for vulva owners. Originally detailed in a 1988 book, it allows for simultaneous stimulation of multiple erogenous zones, making it a potentially superior choice for achieving orgasm. This position can also be adapted for oral sex. While it may resemble missionary, the unique leg positioning offers exclusive access for partners. It’s important to remember that everyone’s preferences differ, so if this position doesn’t resonate, there are many others to explore.