For nearly three decades, I’ve been contending with acne. My skin falls in the middle of the acne spectrum—between the more severe, painful cystic acne and the milder breakouts that often accompany the menstrual cycle. My acne is noticeable, yet not severe enough to provoke a strong reaction from onlookers. Typically, it prompts well-meaning friends with flawless skin to share their skincare secrets with me.
I appreciate the advice, but I’ve tried it all. I’ve followed the routines of my friends with perfect skin, hoping to replicate their success. I’ve experimented with salicylic acid washes, gentle cleansers, and every over-the-counter topical cream imaginable. I’ve used benzoyl peroxide, which helped clear my skin but left me with dryness and wrinkles. I’ve endured the so-called “purging” phase of certain products, drank copious amounts of water, and eliminated dairy, gluten, and sugar from my diet—sequentially and simultaneously. I’ve only ever chosen gentle, noncomedogenic moisturizers, and I’ve invested in high-end serums with hyaluronic acid.
Despite my efforts—including everything except Accutane—I’ve consistently had a few pimples on my face, save for a few months during my pregnancies and while on hormonal birth control. Occasionally, my breakouts escalate to a level that deserves a “yikes.” I even have cringe-worthy photos saved on my phone.
Currently, my acne is somewhat managed with two prescription medications—Aczone and tretinoin (Retin-A). While I still experience frequent breakouts, they are less severe than without the meds, and at least they’re not inflamed. However, a year ago, a change in my insurance forced me to ration my medications, resulting in a resurgence of my acne.
Recently, I stumbled upon a TikTok video that resonated with me deeply. Dr. Chouake stated that those of us battling acne often blame ourselves and think we’re doing something wrong. Clear-skinned friends genuinely want to help, believing they have the solution. After all, their skin looks perfect—why wouldn’t the same regimen work for me? However, Dr. Chouake reminds us that acne is an inflammatory skin condition and is not our fault.
Hearing this was a revelation, and perhaps it’s what you need to hear as well. When clear-skinned individuals offer advice, I feel a similar sentiment to when someone with an easy breastfeeding experience gives unsolicited tips, or when someone with a neurotypical child suggests discipline techniques for my ADHD child. If someone hasn’t experienced it or isn’t a dermatologist, they can’t truly understand.
This feeling of “doing something wrong” is compounded by guilt for being perceived as “superficial” for caring about my appearance. I love my skin, acne included! Yet, I’m supposed to simply accept the angry red marks that disrupt my face’s contours or remind myself that there are worse problems to face. I salute those who can accept their acne without frustration; they have my respect.
For me, however, I despise my acne. I acknowledge that there are greater challenges in life, but I still find it irritating. Why can’t my skin just behave?
What I’m beginning to accept is that my skincare regimen isn’t the issue; I just have acne. My skin is fundamentally different from those who don’t experience breakouts. My sister can sleep in her makeup and remain blemish-free, while I can follow a meticulous skincare routine and still have multiple pimples.
It’s perfectly valid for me to desire clear skin. I’m allowed to wish for my complexion to be smooth and unblemished. Recently, I’ve been considering isotretinoin (previously known as Accutane). This potent medication has serious side effects but also offers a potential cure for acne, which many find life-changing.
Key Takeaways
If you’re struggling with stubborn acne and long to be free of it, I want to share two key points:
- It’s not your fault.
- Consult a dermatologist.
Your acne is likely not a result of anything you did or didn’t do. The skincare routines of your clear-skinned friends, while effective for them, probably won’t resolve your issues. Your skin is uniquely yours, and seeking expert guidance is essential. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
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In summary, acne is not a reflection of your actions; it’s an inflammatory skin condition that requires professional insight. Seeking help is not just acceptable; it’s necessary for managing this frustrating issue.