August 20, 2021
Ah, age 11—what a peculiar and tumultuous journey it is. It’s a wild, topsy-turvy ride filled with confusion, tears, and a whole lot of emotion.
At 11, kids are caught in a limbo. They’ve left behind the world of childhood that defined age 10, which was all about drawing animals, shedding tears at baseball games, and obsessing over fidget spinners. Ten was the final farewell to those carefree little years.
But 11? It’s not quite adolescence; that waits for age 12, which brings slammed doors, teenage angst, and those confusing late-night conversations when they’re “sad but don’t know why.” Twelve marks the beginning of those teenage trials, even if they aren’t officially teens yet.
So, what does 11 mean? It’s the gateway to big changes—the entrance into middle school. And let’s be real—middle school can be brutally tough, even in the best of situations. It’s a whirlwind of hormones, shifting friendships, and new teachers with varied expectations. Romantic feelings start to emerge, and amidst all this, everyone feels awkward and scared—yes, everyone, even if they won’t admit it.
As parents, we also feel the strain of this transition. When your child begins middle school, friends and family often ask, “How’s middle school going?” with a hint of concern. The typical response? “It’s fine.” It’s the same way we used to talk about the joys of new parenthood. We know it’s not truly fine. We need a support group for parents of 11-year-olds, and we need it now.
At 11, there are braces, the introduction of deodorant, and a host of physical changes that can be bewildering. Kids grapple with the confusion of their changing bodies and wonder why they’re not developing at the same rate as their peers.
Eleven is a chaotic mix of emotion—it can feel downright surreal. Looking at my 11-year-old, I often wonder, “What even is happening right now?” Are they still a little kid, a big kid, a tween, or a preteen? The truth is, they are all of these and none at the same time. Eleven is that strange in-between phase where one can embody everything and nothing simultaneously. Expect tantrums, brave faces, and a plethora of tears.
Reflecting on my own experience at 11, I recall feeling incredibly mature as I navigated middle school desks that were so different from the bulky ones of my elementary years. Yet, at the same time, I was terrified of growing up. I wanted to cling to my childhood, crying at the thought of getting my period, and resisting bras because I wasn’t ready for that next step. Back in the ‘80s, being 11 was filled with a mix of excitement, confusion, and sheer terror.
I suspect today’s 11-year-olds experience much of the same. While it can be easy for us to lose patience with their demands and emotional rollercoaster, it’s crucial to remember that they’re living through an equally wild ride. They’re also unsure of their place in this rapidly changing world.
So yes, age 11 is a trip—an exhausting, adventurous journey. On days that leave you feeling dizzy and heavy-hearted, take a moment to breathe and remind yourself: this too shall pass, for better or worse.
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