Hello, I’m Alex, and I’m chronically, frustratingly, and yes, embarrassingly late. I consistently find myself running late for meetings, phone calls, and get-togethers with friends. Birthday cards? They’re always late. Emails? I struggle with those too. I can’t even seem to pick my kids up from baseball practice on time, not to mention I often forget about the food in the oven.
Despite setting countless phone reminders and alarms, nothing seems to work. No matter how hard I try, I’m always a little behind schedule.
I grew up in a household where punctuality was a core value. My father, a dedicated volunteer coach, constantly reminded us, “If you’re five minutes early, you’re on time, and if you’re on time, you’re late.” However, I seem to have elevated this concept to a whole new level of tardiness. Apologies, Dad.
To clarify, I’m not usually hours late — it’s more like a consistent 5 to 10 minutes. But that still drives my family crazy, and honestly, it frustrates me too. It’s stressful and embarrassing; I feel like I’m the only one unable to stick to a schedule.
Many believe that those who are frequently late are selfish or lazy, but that’s simply not the case. Our brains function differently. According to BBC insights, psychology experts reveal that personality traits and even optimistic dispositions can make some people “punctually-challenged.”
“Late individuals often have a bright outlook,” noted psychologist Philippa Perry in the Guardian. “They tend to be overly optimistic about how much they can accomplish in a given time frame and how long it will take to get from one location to another, especially if it’s close by.” So, it’s not just me after all.
Another factor contributing to tardiness can be difficulty with transitions. Personally, this is a major issue for me. When I’m deeply engaged in one task, shifting to another feels almost impossible. I often delay this transition until I’m in a panic.
We also sometimes misjudge how much time has passed. A study conducted by Jeff Conte, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, revealed that Type A individuals (ambitious and competitive) estimated a minute had passed at around the 58-second mark, while Type B individuals (creative and reflective) thought a minute had gone by after about 77 seconds. When I tried this experiment, I guessed 110 seconds, largely because I got sidetracked.
For some, chronic lateness can stem from anxiety or other mental health challenges. As Harriet Mellotte, a cognitive behavioral therapist, explained to the BBC, individuals with anxiety may avoid certain situations, leading to procrastination and self-doubt. Low energy, often associated with depression, can also hinder motivation to get moving.
In my case, my chronic lateness results from a combination of all these factors. I’m excessively optimistic about how long things will take, be it a commute, joining a Zoom call, or completing my current task. I always tell myself that the drive to meetings will only take 12 minutes because traffic will be light, only to be surprised when that’s not the case. I also wrestle with transitions and social anxiety, which leads to me being late for gatherings.
Unfortunately, these reasons (or excuses?) don’t help those waiting for us. We can wish for understanding, but that only goes so far. The best way to address chronic lateness is to consciously decide to be on time. Experts recommend setting alarms, allowing extra time for commutes, avoiding multitasking, and embracing that mantra my dad instilled in me all those years ago.
For those of us prone to being late, making an effort to arrive early might just lead to being on time — or at least less late. If you’re interested in further insights on this topic, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. You can also explore more about managing time effectively through related articles like this one on self insemination and insights from experts on anxiety.
Summary
Chronic lateness can be a source of stress and embarrassment, stemming from personality traits, struggles with transitions, and misjudgments of time. While it can be frustrating for those who wait, understanding the reasons behind it can foster patience. By adopting strategies to improve punctuality, those who are frequently late can work towards better time management.