Vacationing as a Queer Family: Why All-Inclusive Isn’t Always Inclusive

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When my partner and I planned our honeymoon two decades ago, safety as a queer couple wasn’t at the forefront of our minds. We often passed as friends, using that facade to shield ourselves from potential discrimination. So, we opted for an all-inclusive resort in Aruba, thinking it would be a perfect blend of beach relaxation and island adventures. However, our decision was more about convenience than it was about safety.

Even after legalizing our commitment in Vermont, the first state to recognize same-sex unions, we still felt the weight of living in the closet. Our fears centered more around being women traveling together (I hadn’t transitioned yet) than being an openly lesbian couple. We may have been in a seemingly safe environment, but the emotional toll of hiding our identities was ever-present. All-inclusive vacations often fail to provide true equality for everyone.

While I was more openly queer back home, that authenticity took a backseat during our trip. When we were told that gay couples weren’t welcome at certain entertainment events, I felt a mix of anger and frustration. It was disheartening to see that while they gladly accepted our money, they did not want to acknowledge our identity. My meals were included, but my true self was excluded from the experience. Genuine inclusivity for queer families is still a rarity in travel.

Planning a trip can already be a logistical nightmare, but throw kids into the mix, and it becomes even more complex. From packing diapers and sound machines to remembering beloved toys, the stress can be overwhelming. But for queer families, especially those with transgender members, travel preparation can be a minefield of complications and risks. Essentials like snacks are still necessary, but so are documents proving parental rights and identity.

When my partner and I traveled abroad for the first time, we made sure to bring our marriage certificate, documents confirming my role as a guardian for our child, and important medical decision-making paperwork. We had to be ready for the possibility of using gendered bathrooms, and the stares or comments that might come with it. Even at TSA security, I often find myself singled out for a mismatch between my gender marker and physical appearance.

I sometimes leave behind clothing that openly expresses my queerness, knowing that it could invite unwanted attention. While we can’t always avoid areas that aren’t welcoming to queer travelers, we take extra precautions when booking stays. We seek out LGBTQIA+ friendly accommodations and ask owners directly about their stance on inclusivity. If I’m traveling with my kids, additional thought goes into everyone’s comfort and safety before we can even think about enjoying our vacation.

Although more destinations now cater to queer travelers, they can still be challenging to find. Research indicates that 58% of queer travelers spend more time researching destinations and accommodations compared to their cisgender heterosexual counterparts. Moreover, many have altered or canceled trips due to safety concerns tied to their gender identity or sexuality. Resources like the International LGBTQ+ Travel Association (IGLTA) can assist in making safer travel plans.

Despite facing challenges, we deserve to explore any space we choose. However, for queer families, safety and comfort remain paramount. I refuse to support places that promote bigotry. Thankfully, there are growing numbers of destinations welcoming to LGBTQIA+ travelers.

In upcoming articles, I will showcase queer-friendly beaches, all-inclusive resorts, couples’ getaways, and essential tips for traveling as a transgender person. So pack your bags and your favorite pride-themed t-shirts, because we’re ready for adventure!

For more insights on planning for families, check out this other blog post on home insemination and visit Intracervical Insemination for expert advice. Additionally, you can use resources like March of Dimes for a deeper understanding of pregnancy and home insemination.

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Summary:

Traveling as a queer family entails unique challenges that go beyond packing essentials. While planning vacations, safety and inclusivity become crucial factors. Despite some progress, many destinations still do not cater to the needs of LGBTQIA+ travelers. This article highlights the complexities involved in preparing for trips, especially for queer families, and the importance of finding truly inclusive spaces.