As a community, we often focus on the shortcomings of men and areas needing improvement—whether it’s forgetting household chores, failing to keep in touch with loved ones, or engaging in infidelity. We highlight the men who struggle to communicate effectively with women or lack basic common sense. For many years, I channeled my energy into lamenting my father’s absence in my life instead of acknowledging his dedication to serving our country for 24 years in the military. That focus on disappointment yielded no positive outcomes for me.
Recently, I’ve come to understand that discussions often overlook what men may require from us or society at large. The men and boys who actively support us deserve recognition for their humanity and the emotional support they need.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that men experience privileges in society, often unfairly bestowed simply because of their gender. We know that women typically earn less than men and that men frequently receive unwarranted praise for trivial achievements. However, this piece isn’t about those inequalities. Instead, I want to explore practical ways we can support the men in our lives—fathers, brothers, and all men—by considering a few key points.
I recently found an insightful Instagram post that offered perspectives on how to better support and understand men. It prompted me to reflect on how I engage with the men around me.
Men Lack Emotional Support Systems
Women often have strong emotional support networks. When I need to vent, I reach out to friends or family. Unfortunately, many men don’t have similar outlets. It’s essential for them to have someone to confide in, seek advice from, and feel loved by. Consider the men in your life—do they have that support? They deserve it, just like everyone else.
Research indicates that men experience mental health issues like depression and anxiety at rates comparable to women but are less likely to seek help. A study published in JAMA Psychology reveals that traditional ideals of masculinity can prevent men from admitting to feelings of sadness. Additionally, their manifestations of depression may not align with conventional diagnostic criteria, often appearing as anger, excessive work, or risky behavior.
A New York Times article aptly states that the problem might not be so severe if men were as adept as women in creating social support networks that function as therapy.
Men Prefer Direct Communication
When communicating with men, clarity is key. Studies show that women are generally more attuned to subtle interpersonal cues, while men benefit from straightforward, direct communication. Honesty and openness in expressing your intentions, questions, or requests can lead to more productive interactions. As the sister of a younger brother, I’ve learned that being direct saves time and reduces misunderstandings.
Men Have Valid Emotions
Men experience a full spectrum of emotions—hurt, sadness, joy, and everything in between. They deserve to express these feelings and be heard. Recognizing that men may process emotions differently than women is vital, but the core feelings remain the same.
As a mother of a Black teenager evolving into manhood, I see my responsibility to instill in him a sense of love and worth. However, I also acknowledge the challenges he may face due to societal perceptions tied to his race and appearance. It’s essential to uplift young men like him, offering support and encouragement as they navigate life.
Acknowledging the issues men face, including their societal advantages, doesn’t negate their humanity. We can’t treat all men as a single entity; instead, we should aim to cultivate empathy and provide them with the tools they need to evolve.
I believe it’s important to engage with men without preconceived notions, allowing for genuine connections. Men and boys in our lives could benefit from our appreciation, love, and support—let’s extend that to them.
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Summary:
This article emphasizes the need to appreciate the men in our lives while recognizing the societal advantages they may have. It discusses the importance of emotional support, direct communication, and acknowledging their feelings. By fostering understanding and empathy, we can help create a more supportive environment for men.