My son graduated from high school in June, and for the past few years, he has faced the same question over and over: “Where are you going to college?” Whether from friends, family, or even random strangers I encounter while shopping (seriously, I just wanted to buy spoons!), it seems everyone is fixated on this one path, as if pursuing further education is the only option available.
It’s akin to asking a newlywed couple when they plan to start a family or pressuring someone who just lost their job about their next employment move—it’s intrusive and just plain inappropriate. Questions like these narrow the scope of what it means to live a fulfilling life.
Not every recent high school graduate is ready to dive into college right away. The pressure can be overwhelming, and some may simply need time to breathe and reflect. There are numerous routes they can take after high school, whether that involves travel, work, or even military service. It’s curious that we never think to ask graduates about those alternatives; instead, we default to college as if it’s the only path.
My son has decided against attending college for the time being. He’s taking a moment to explore his interests before making any long-term commitments. And honestly, I think that’s a wise decision. He refuses to be rushed into a direction that doesn’t resonate with him.
Among his friends, the paths are diverse: one is enlisting in the military, another is pursuing a career in interior design, yet another is training to become an engineer, while one is learning shipbuilding through an apprenticeship. They each have their unique journeys but are constantly bombarded with the same question: “Where are you going to college?”
Why not ask, “What do you envision for your future?” or “What makes you happy?” Some kids, like my son, can confidently respond that college isn’t for them, but many feel the weight of expectations pressing down on them.
There are also countless students who cannot pursue college due to financial or personal constraints. The burden of figuring out tuition, applying, and maintaining grades can be too much for many young people. I know a 20-year-old who worked for a year to save up for college, only to struggle with balancing work, academics, and athletics. Despite his efforts, he ultimately couldn’t maintain his scholarship and returned home, grappling with the repeated question of when he would go back to school.
Interestingly, he discovered a passion for masonry work during this time, realizing he could pursue a fulfilling career without accruing debt.
While many teens genuinely want to go to college, it’s crucial to acknowledge that there are equally valuable paths available. My son is involved in trades, earning more than I did in my late 20s with a degree I’m still paying off.
When adults keep asking teens about their college plans without considering other options, it adds unnecessary stress. We must stop assuming college is the only next step. What might seem like casual conversation can weigh heavily on our young people’s minds.
Let’s change the narrative. Instead of asking where they’re going to college, let’s engage them in more meaningful conversations about their interests, aspirations, and plans for the future. It could significantly boost their confidence and shape a healthier outlook on their life ahead.
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Search Queries:
- What to do after high school?
- Alternatives to college for teens
- Career options for high school graduates
- How to support teens in finding their path
- Understanding the pressures of college decisions
In summary, we should reconsider how we engage with teenagers about their future. Instead of fixating on college, let’s open the conversation to a broader range of possibilities, allowing them the space to explore what truly resonates with them.