During a recent family dinner on our trip, I asked my kids, now in their late teens, what they remembered about my drinking. To my surprise, they both replied “nothing” at the same time. Initially taken aback, I quickly recalled that it was easy to hide. They spent half their time in another home due to my divorce, and they were often surrounded by adults who drank heavily, making such behavior seem normal.
Now, they notice the stark contrast between my sober lifestyle and the decline of those around them who indulge in alcohol. They’ve observed the erratic behavior of adults who drink, with their personalities shifting significantly after a few drinks. I remember being keenly aware of such things at their age, but it didn’t deter my own exploration into drinking, which I viewed as glamorous and exciting.
When I followed up my initial question with one about their own experiences with alcohol, their honesty caught me off guard. “Not interested; it makes you look dumb,” my daughter, who will soon turn eighteen, replied. My nineteen-year-old son added, “I’ve tried it, but I hate the way it makes me feel. I flat out don’t do it anymore.” They mentioned that, unlike my sneaky teenage drinking where we pilfered from our parents’ liquor cabinets, they regularly turn down offers of fake IDs.
Interestingly, statistics show that teens are drinking less than in previous years. A 2019 Youth Risk Survey found that 29% of high school students consumed alcohol, and that number has declined. Research from the National Institute of Public Health in Norway suggests that today’s teenagers are more focused on family and education, realizing that losing control isn’t “cool.” Many are also opting for marijuana instead, further driving down alcohol use.
Lessons Learned
So, what have my kids gleaned from watching my journey through addiction, sobriety, and recovery? One key lesson is that it’s okay not to be okay. I’ve always been open about my struggles, which contrasts with my own upbringing where I felt like I was the only one making mistakes. I now emphasize the importance of acknowledging missteps and learning from them.
Additionally, they’ve observed that fun can exist outside the confines of drinking culture. They see me happier and more engaged than ever, enjoying moments of doing “nothing” together. This is crucial in a culture that often equates busyness with worth.
Lastly, they’ve learned about transformation. I hoped they would see my recovery as a testament to the power of change. They recognize that challenges are not roadblocks but stepping stones, and mistakes don’t define us; rather, how we recover from them does.
As we headed back to our hotel, my children humorously mimicked my “turtle-mode” walk through crowds, and I couldn’t help but laugh along. It struck me how much they’ve picked up from my journey, and it made me proud to be setting an example for them.
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Related Topics
For anyone looking to explore related topics, consider these search queries:
- Understanding the effects of alcohol on teens
- Healthy coping mechanisms for stress
- The impact of parental behavior on children
- Exploring alternatives to alcohol
- Guidance on teenage drinking
In summary, my children have learned valuable lessons from my experiences with drinking and recovery. They understand the importance of recognizing and accepting struggles, finding joy outside of drinking culture, and embracing transformation as a powerful tool for personal growth.