My boys are eight and five years old. As a thirty-six-year-old woman, I often find that my interests don’t align with theirs. Kids, it seems, are not always great at picking up on social cues. They develop deep passions that dominate our conversations, which means I spend nearly all of my time faking interest in whatever they are fixated on. Someone please hand me an award! I’ve honed the skill of appearing engaged while mentally drafting my grocery list or outlining my next article simultaneously. It’s an impressive feat!
Neither of my children has that elusive gene that allows for casual interest in anything. When one of them discovers a new passion, it becomes an all-consuming endeavor. We ride that wave until they decide to switch gears.
My oldest son’s initial obsession was elephants, which kicked off before he even turned two. He was surrounded by elephant toys, watched documentaries, and even fell asleep with stuffed elephants. While they still hold a special place in his heart, his interests have evolved over the years. After a spell with marine mammals and the African savannah, he settled on dinosaurs, which have become his true passion. For over two years now, it’s been all dinosaurs: themed birthday parties, educational podcasts, a vast collection of dinosaur toys, and even a few real fossils!
We’ve even utilized his obsession to teach him about boundaries. He has to ask if it’s a good time to share his dinosaur knowledge before launching into a lecture. It hasn’t gone perfectly (I still found myself listening to him discuss Sarcosuchus this morning while curling my hair), but at least he remembers to ask!
When a friend’s son introduced him to Minecraft a few months back, I thought, “Finally, a break from prehistory!” But no—his older, sharper mind can now juggle two obsessions. Instead of moving on from dinosaurs, he simply added Minecraft to the mix. Now, I’m immersed in both creepers and Protoceratops, which can feel a bit overwhelming.
But there’s no reason for concern. According to an article I found on LiveScience, intense interests can simply be enjoyable. As Judy DeLoache, a psychology professor at the University of Virginia, states, “It’s perfectly normal. There isn’t anything weird about it.”
My younger son is fascinated by letters and numbers. He taught himself to read out of sheer enthusiasm for letters and now loves counting and breaking down numbers into smaller groups. His favorite toys are sets of small figurines, which he obsessively organizes into zippered bags. Right now, he’s carrying five sets of five magnet tiles and all the characters from Blue’s Clues in a makeup bag I no longer needed.
Fortunately, our oldest son has prepared us for his brother’s focused interests. Intense passion is common among autistic children, and our little guy is on the spectrum. We firmly believe that autism is not a tragedy, and being neurodiverse adds richness to our lives. We embrace these intense interests, which have been beneficial for both our neurotypical child and our autistic son.
Research backs this approach! A 2008 study by the University of Wisconsin and Indiana University found that being captivated by a “conceptual” topic like dinosaurs can lead to improved attention spans, deeper information processing skills, and increased knowledge and persistence. This is uplifting news for parents like me, whose kids are relentless in their quest to become experts on their current fascination!
Encouraging your child to develop their interests and actively seek knowledge is crucial for their growth. It equips them with skills necessary for adulthood and boosts their confidence. What child doesn’t love feeling like an expert and being able to teach adults about their newfound knowledge?
When your child’s obsession feels overwhelming, don’t worry. You can’t overdose on fun facts about dinosaurs, horses, soccer, video games, or geology (trust me, I’ve checked). Rest assured, these phases won’t last forever, and if they do, your child may just be on the path to a fulfilling hobby or career.
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In summary, while your child’s obsession may feel overwhelming, it’s a normal part of childhood development. Embrace their interests and the joy of learning that comes with them. This phase, while intense, will likely enrich their lives and could even spark a lifelong passion.