I don’t personally know Sarah Lane, but I feel like I do. Despite not following her fitness journey or watching her shows, I understand that her life was irrevocably altered when her husband, the father of her child, passed away from COVID-19. That moment transformed everything she had once known about life and love. I recognize that she experiences his absence daily, in profound and subtle ways.
Sarah and I share a painful bond; we are both young widows. We have faced the challenge of sleeping in a bed that once felt full, sitting at a table that now has an empty chair, and returning home to a closet filled with memories of someone who will never return. We’ve had to reinvent ourselves, transitioning from “we” to “me” while navigating life as single parents.
As a fellow young widow, I feel a strong sense of protectiveness toward Sarah Lane. Recently, she revealed that she has started dating again, and the reactions were swift. While there were supportive voices, criticism also surfaced, with some suggesting that her decision was made too quickly.
This judgment stood out to me, resonating with every widow or widower who has faced similar scrutiny. Personally, I began dating around two years after my husband’s passing, and for the first six months, I kept it hidden out of fear of being judged—whether for starting too soon or waiting too long. I worried that if I dated, it would imply my grief had ended. However, I have come to understand that my grief will always be intertwined with my love; it evolves just as I do.
Eventually, I realized that the only person whose approval I needed was my own. To those who criticize Amanda or any widow, I would say: we do not owe you an explanation. Until you have experienced the profound loss of a partner—someone who was your best friend and co-parent—you cannot judge how we choose to move forward.
Even fellow widows should refrain from passing judgment on one another. Each of our journeys through grief is unique, shaped by our individual experiences and circumstances.
When a widow decides to start dating, the only acceptable response is support. Finding happiness after such a significant loss requires immense courage. Some widows may choose to date shortly after their loss; they deserve understanding, not condemnation. Choosing to date doesn’t mean they have forgotten their spouse or that they love them any less; it’s an act of hope and respect for the love they once shared. Conversely, some may decide to remain single, and they too deserve grace and understanding.
None of us chose this path. Whether one chooses to date or not, we all deserve compassion, rather than judgment. Sarah Lane, like all widows, needs support and understanding as she navigates this challenging journey.
In her response on social media, Sarah articulated the harsh reality that widows face when they choose to date or make any change in their lives. The loss of a spouse is a uniquely profound grief that alters every aspect of life, especially when children are involved. Therefore, when a widow takes the brave step to date or make any significant decision, the response should be one of love and support.
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In summary, the journey of a widow is complex and deeply personal. When Amanda Kloots or anyone in a similar situation decides to move forward in their life, they deserve our compassion and support, not judgment.