“Sex/Life” kicks off like many series portraying women grappling with midlife crises—complete with flashbacks, voiceovers, and the realization that life hasn’t unfolded as expected. The storyline struck a chord with me; I even texted a friend, “Why does this feel like my life?”
However, things quickly took a turn. Netflix seemed to understand the internal struggles many mothers face: Who am I now that I’m a mom? Where did the woman I used to be go? Is there room for both of us in this life—me and the version of myself I lost? It was relatable, until about ten minutes into the first episode.
I wondered if the creators realized they were in over their heads. The main character, Emma, navigates her present life while reminiscing about her past and an old fling, even though she’s now married to what seems to be the ideal partner and has two kids in the suburbs. We learn that she was ambitious and achieved professional success but also fell into a complicated relationship with a “dangerous” record executive. In the present, she avoids his calls while fantasizing about him during mundane moments like breastfeeding, ultimately documenting her feelings in an online journal that her husband discovers.
What follows is cringe-worthy. While the show tries to address the struggle of losing oneself in motherhood, the solution it proposes seems overly simplistic: “spice up your sex life.” I can tell you, that’s not the answer.
Initially, I thought, “This MUST be produced by a man.” But to my surprise, it was created by a woman, and I expected more from someone with a background in shows like One Tree Hill. After looking up Stacy Rukeyser, I found out she’s been married for eleven years and has two kids. This left me puzzled.
I discovered that the series is loosely based on BB Easton’s memoir, 44 Chapters About 4 Men, which explores the connection between her past and present. However, the show is packed with gratuitous nudity and awkward moments that make it hard to watch. It’s painful to see how Netflix frames a conversation about the emotional turmoil many women experience after having children as mere sensationalism.
Many of us go through significant changes when we become mothers; our identities often seem to vanish overnight. I remember feeling like a stranger in my own life, but society expects us to suppress those feelings. Framing this experience as a midlife crisis only drags us back into outdated stereotypes about women’s dissatisfaction with family life.
Though I haven’t finished the series, I’m uncertain if I will. Rumor has it that SPOILER ALERT Emma chooses to run away. Of course, that’s the easy way out, right? Instead of working through her issues, she opts for escape, avoiding the chance to reconcile her past with her present.
I might file this one alongside the dreadful Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. I’m exhausted by the portrayal of strong women in media, especially when it’s done poorly. Whether you call it mom porn or smut, just don’t expect depth or character development from it.
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