When grappling with body image issues, it’s difficult to grasp that others may perceive you differently than you do yourself. I look in the mirror and only see my flaws. From head to toe, I can pinpoint numerous insecurities. Finding something wrong is all too easy. Yet, my partner sees a completely different version of me.
I often get dressed and ask for his opinion, only to hear him say, “You look amazing.” Most of the time, he doesn’t even glance up from his phone when he says this. It’s not indifference; he genuinely believes it. To him, I always look wonderful, regardless of whether I’m in a dress and makeup or just cleaned the garage. Even when he jokingly compliments my messy attire, it boosts my spirits.
When we met nearly two decades ago, I had long hair, a tiny waist, and a prominent chest. I can acknowledge that I had a body that turned heads now, but at the time, I felt anything but confident. Even in my prime, I struggled with self-acceptance. Now, at 42, I’ve transformed significantly — I’ve aged and had four children. Surprisingly, my partner treats me as if nothing has changed. His love remains steadfast.
I haven’t “let myself go” in the traditional sense; I’ve simply matured. I’m no longer the attractive woman at a bar seeking attention. Instead, I’m a busy mom juggling dance classes, soccer practices, and dinner preparations, often dressed in yoga pants and tank tops. I’ve even added a knee brace to my wardrobe, a reminder of aging. Still, my partner kisses me before leaving for the day and tells me he loves me.
Interestingly, he hasn’t changed much since our wedding. He’s bald now and has developed a more typical dad bod, but his smile is as charming as ever. In fact, I find him even more attractive with age. It’s a comforting thought that our feelings for one another remain strong.
But why do I struggle to accept his love for me as I am? I often feel unworthy of his attraction, which is a flawed perspective. I should take pride in the life we’ve built together: 15 years, six cars, four children, two homes, and one dog. After all of this, he still chooses to take me out for dinner. He cared for me after my knee surgery last year without a second thought. He handles my Target pickups with only a little grumbling. He has provided for our family, allowing me to be a stay-at-home mom and pursue my dream of writing. It’s not my looks that matter; it’s simply me.
Reflecting on our life together, I feel incredibly fortunate. We have four wonderful children, a safe home, and enough resources to enjoy some extras. As we continue to grow and change, I believe that even as we age further, his love for me will remain constant.
I was the one who caught his eye when he came to fix computers, the one he pursued, and the one he dreamed would say “yes.” He chose me for life, and he meant it when he made those vows to 27-year-old me. Through all the ups and downs — richer or poorer, in sickness and health — he has loved me unconditionally. I am undeniably lucky.
True beauty isn’t found in appearances; it’s in the connection with someone who is willing to sort your laundry and get up early to drive you to the airport. It’s in the love that nurtures, supports, and sacrifices. My partner and I have discovered all these qualities in each other, and that is beautiful.
No matter how time alters my physical appearance, it won’t change his love for me. Once at a restaurant, he looked deeply into my eyes and sang along to the words of Billy Joel, “I love you just the way you are.” I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world. And I cherish him, just as he is.
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In summary, the journey of self-acceptance while being loved unconditionally by my partner is a beautiful experience. His unwavering affection reassures me that true beauty lies beyond physical appearance.