For a long time, I felt like I was missing the mark when it came to self-care. I indulged in pedicures, massages, and movie nights with friends — everything that is typically celebrated as self-care. Yet, I still found myself feeling drained and anxious. In fact, my sense of well-being seemed to deteriorate.
Perhaps I didn’t grasp the true meaning of self-care. Maybe my constant focus on indulgence didn’t address the underlying issues causing my stress. After some time in therapy, my therapist proposed a different perspective: real self-care might involve tackling the stressors head-on, rather than just engaging in relaxing activities. She encouraged me to dedicate fifteen minutes each day to address tasks that caused me anxiety — such as organizing the clutter in my home or sorting through a mountain of mail that had accumulated on my kitchen table.
I wish I could say I embraced her advice wholeheartedly and transformed my life. (Spoiler: I didn’t.) I managed to commit to this practice for about two weeks, but during that time, I genuinely felt a sense of relief as I chipped away at the overwhelming tasks that loomed over me. This helped lessen my stress and allowed me to enjoy life more.
What is True Self-Care?
Self-care has often been commodified by capitalism, turning it into another means of selling products — much like romantic love and other aspects of life. We’re led to believe that self-care simply involves consumption: that our needs can be fulfilled by material goods or services. This notion can feel like a sham.
Evette Carter, Editor-in-Chief of Bitch Media, emphasized on social media that self-care is fundamentally about survival. It’s about doing what’s necessary for your well-being, even if it’s challenging. For her, self-care encompasses working through personal challenges, establishing boundaries, and prioritizing mental health through therapy and self-awareness.
Self-Care is Unique to You
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to self-care. It is a broad concept that involves doing what you need to maintain your emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Your self-care routine will not mirror your friends or influencers; it should be a reflection of you and your life.
Practical Tips for Authentic Self-Care
Here are some universal self-care tips you can implement today:
- Prioritize Sleep: The pandemic disrupted many of our routines, often leading to poor sleep patterns. Focus on good sleep hygiene.
- Stay Hydrated: Ensure you’re drinking enough water to support your overall health and energy levels.
- Tune Into Your Body: Pay attention to your physical needs. Take medications, eat nutritious meals, exercise, and allow yourself to rest when necessary.
- Eliminate Toxic Relationships: Set boundaries with people or situations that drain you. This might mean distancing yourself from certain friends or unfollowing negative influencers.
- Reflect on Your Desires: Consider what truly makes you happy and how you envision your life. Start taking steps toward that vision.
- Delegate Tasks: If feasible, hire help for chores you dislike. Whether it’s cleaning or grocery shopping, outsourcing can alleviate stress.
- Get Outside: Embrace nature when possible. Fresh air and sunlight can be revitalizing, contributing positively to your mental health.
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In summary, true self-care goes beyond indulgent activities. It involves addressing the root causes of stress, prioritizing your mental and physical health, and tailoring your self-care routine to your specific needs.