My Dearest,
Today is Father’s Day, a day when your absence is felt more acutely than ever. Words cannot express how much our children, Lily and Jack, and I miss you. Last March, our lives irrevocably changed when you were exposed to COVID at work, doing a job you cherished. Over time, Lily and Jack will come to understand what a dedicated and skilled Speech Pathologist you were. You bravely continued your work during the pandemic, helping others while fully aware of the risks. You epitomized heroism, and I will ensure that our kids know the profound impact you made. I will also share with them the incredible fight you put up against COVID before it took you from us. I am endlessly proud of you, and I know that when Lily and Jack grow older and grasp what happened to their father, they will feel the same pride.
I wish you were here so we could honor you and the amazing father you were. Being a Dad was your dream, and from the moment Lily was born, you embraced it effortlessly. Watching you with Lily and Jack always brought joy to my heart. I remember how happy they made you and how much you cherished being their dad. I can still picture you in our living room, singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” with Lily and Jack nestled between your legs. That is one of Lily’s favorite videos to revisit when she feels down and misses you. Sometimes, after watching it, she asks me to row her just like you did, and it brings tears to my eyes, knowing it should be you making her laugh and smile. She should still be having those moments with you, as should Jack. Today serves as a poignant reminder of all we lost when COVID took your life last April.
You would have been showered with love, hugs, and kisses today. Lily and Jack would have bounded into our room, excitedly climbing into bed to jump all over you. They would have worn their special Father’s Day shirts in your honor. Lily and I would have prepared your favorite chocolate chip pancakes with bacon on the side. Today would have been about doing what you loved most: spending time with family. I can vividly see your radiant smile, the one that lit up your eyes, revealing how happy you were with us. That is the kind of Father’s Day I long for, but now it is merely a dream.
Despite your absence, today remains your special day. You are forever Lily and Jack’s father, and even though they are too young to comprehend its significance, I want to establish traditions that celebrate and honor you. I believe it’s crucial for Lily and Jack to have meaningful traditions so that when they understand Father’s Day, they will know that their dad may be in heaven, but that doesn’t mean they can’t partake in special activities to celebrate you. Today, Lily and I will make your beloved chocolate pancakes, just as you liked them, and they will wear shirts that say, “DAD’S IN HEAVEN BUT ALWAYS IN OUR HEARTS.” The most beautiful part of this shirt is that it reflects what Lily often says when she looks up at the sky, expressing her love for you. Yes, you are in heaven, but because you are always in our hearts, we will celebrate Father’s Day in your memory.
Today, Lily, Jack, and I will spend time together as a family, doing something you would have loved, be it visiting the park, going to the zoo, taking a walk, or enjoying ice cream. We might play outside in the backyard we fell in love with when we bought this house, envisioning it as the perfect place for our family. Perhaps we will find a bridge over a stream, allowing me to play Pooh sticks with the kids—a cherished activity you always wanted to do with them.
Regardless of our plans, you will be in our hearts and minds. I will share stories and memories with Lily and Jack and talk about you, especially today, since it’s Father’s Day. I’ll capture adorable photos of them in their shirts and post them, writing something to honor you—the amazing father they were blessed to have.
Yes, today is far from what I envisioned. I never imagined celebrating without you. It breaks my heart to know that many children, like Lily and Jack, will be missing their dads today. This past year, countless young children have lost their fathers to COVID. For so many impacted by this pandemic, Father’s Day will never be the same again. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned from losing you, it’s that I will always choose joy. That is my gift to you, knowing it’s what you would want for me and for Lily and Jack. Even though your absence is especially poignant today, as we celebrate you, there will be happiness in our hearts, for your love will shine through in every way we honor you.
Happy Father’s Day. We will love you always.
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Summary:
This heartfelt letter reflects a mother’s emotions on her first Father’s Day without her husband, who tragically passed away from COVID. She reminisces about the joy he brought to their lives and vows to create lasting traditions for their children, Lily and Jack, to honor their father. Despite the pain of loss, she emphasizes the importance of choosing joy and finding ways to celebrate his memory together as a family.