The signs of perimenopause had been creeping in for months. I’d wake up drenched in sweat, despite the bedside fan running full tilt. One moment I’d be frantically cleaning, and the next, I’d be sobbing on the couch with a pint of ice cream. Some mornings, I’d growl at my family, and by evening, I’d be nearly dancing around the house—or sometimes the other way around.
It all started to click when I began experiencing my period two to three times a month. That’s a bit unusual, right? I thought so too. While I had heard about hot flashes and mood swings, those were usually associated with menopause. Since I was still getting my period regularly (or even more frequently!), I figured I couldn’t possibly be in menopause. So what was happening?
Perimenopause was the answer. Until recently, I hadn’t even heard that term, let alone understood it.
When I brought it up with my healthcare provider during a routine check-up, she was only somewhat informed. She confirmed I wasn’t in menopause (which I already knew) and ran a few hormone tests and an ultrasound, but everything appeared normal. Yet, something felt off. Her suggestion? I should ask my mom when she experienced menopause to estimate my timeline. Unfortunately, my mom couldn’t recall her own experience and hadn’t heard of perimenopause, highlighting how little we’ve been educated about this transition.
Dr. Lila Nachtigall, a seasoned expert in obstetrics and gynecology, shared her frustration about this knowledge gap in a New York Times interview: “You’re hearing what I’m hearing—‘Nobody ever told me this,’ and I had the same experiences many years ago with my mother.”
It’s not surprising that we remain uninformed about perimenopause. Menopause itself is often steeped in clichés and stigma. Dr. Susan Mattern, a history professor at the University of Georgia, noted that until the 19th century, menopause was referred to in grim terms like “women’s hell” and “death of sex.” What does that even mean?!
Dr. Lucy Hutner, a reproductive psychiatrist, emphasized the importance of changing the dialogue around this topic. The average age of menopause is 51, and women typically enter perimenopause around 47, though symptoms can start earlier or later. At 43, I can attest that I’m feeling the effects quite intensely.
Despite perimenopause lasting several years, many healthcare providers lack proper understanding. According to the New York Times, fewer than 7% of medical residents feel equipped to assist women with menopause. That’s absurd and frankly, sexist. We have entire industries focused on men’s health, yet women are left to fend for themselves during this transitional phase. A woman recounted her frustration to the New York Times about her family doctor dismissing her symptoms because she still had periods, leading her to “give up trying to educate her.”
The situation is even more severe for Black women, who are reported to face a higher likelihood of experiencing hot flashes but are less often provided effective hormone replacement therapy.
The lack of guidance and understanding can be infuriating in itself. We need more information, research, and healthcare providers who recognize that it’s not just stress or that we’re “too young for menopause.” We deserve to feel supported and to know we aren’t alone in this sweaty, chaotic journey.
Even though perimenopause and the eventual shift to menopause are natural processes, we shouldn’t have to endure them silently. Keep the conversation going with your friends—you’re not losing your mind. Talk to your doctor until you receive the answers and guidance you need. If your current physician cannot provide that, it might be time to seek a new one.
For more insights into this journey, check out this blog post that offers a closer look at women’s health issues. Additionally, Intracervical Insemination is an authority on related matters, while this resource provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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In summary, if you feel overwhelmed by the unexpected ups and downs of perimenopause, remember that you are not alone. This experience is shared by many, and it’s crucial to seek support and information. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your friends and healthcare providers to help navigate this phase of life.