Like many individuals from Generation X, I experienced spanking during my childhood—though it was infrequent and not overly harsh. My parents would follow up any spanking with a calm discussion about the behavior that led to the punishment. This approach was common among my relatives and friends, with some even facing what could more accurately be described as “beatings.” As a result, I perceived my parents’ measured approach to spanking as a reasonable form of discipline, believing it was sometimes essential to effectively communicate with children.
When I became pregnant, and my son, now 15, was an infant, I encountered parenting literature advocating for alternative disciplinary methods beyond spanking. However, I was so entrenched in the belief that spanking was a necessary tool that I found myself dismissing this advice. Part of me thought experts had to tread carefully to avoid endorsing physical punishment, as not everyone might recognize the distinction between my parents’ methodical discipline and actual abuse.
Recent research, however, reveals that from the perspective of a child’s developing brain, the line between disciplinary spanking and genuine abuse may be far less distinct than previously thought. Dr. Mia Parker, a licensed psychologist and school psychologist, recently shared insights with Buzzfeed regarding a significant Harvard study on spanking.
“Spanking alters the development of a child’s brain from a very young age,” Dr. Parker explained to Krista Torres of Buzzfeed. “It causes their brain to resemble that of children who have suffered severe abuse.”
The Harvard study examined children aged 10 to 11, some of whom had been spanked (with varying frequencies), while others had not experienced spanking at all. Though the study excluded those who had endured more severe abuse, researchers had access to other data to compare brain scans. Each child underwent an MRI scan where they were shown images of actors displaying “fearful” and “neutral” expressions.
Upon analysis, researchers noted that all children exhibited increased brain activation in response to fearful faces compared to neutral ones, which was expected. However, they found that children who had been spanked showed a heightened reaction to fearful expressions and a diminished response to neutral ones. More alarmingly, Dr. Parker stated, “When comparing the brain scans of the spanked children to existing data from abused children, we found minimal differences in prefrontal cortex activation.”
In essence, even occasional spanking can trigger brain responses similar to those observed in children who have been abused.
As my son transitioned out of toddlerhood and began showing clear signs of ADHD, I started to question the efficacy of spanking. His behavior was increasingly evident as a result of impulse control issues—something he simply could not manage. How could I justify punishing him for something beyond his control? What impact would hitting have on his developing personality? Although I rarely spanked him and did so gently, I began to wonder if this approach was truly shaping him into the person I aspired for him to become. Ultimately, I ceased spanking altogether and explored alternative disciplinary methods: time-outs (which I later learned can also be harmful if they induce shame), token systems, therapy, meditation, medication, and plenty of conversations.
Dr. Parker elaborated on the well-documented negative consequences that spanking can have on children. “There are numerous ways in which spanking adversely affects children,” she remarked during her Buzzfeed interview. “They’re less likely to trust their caregivers, more prone to being deceitful about their misbehavior, and often change their behavior to avoid punishment rather than understanding the consequences of their actions.”
I found this to resonate with my experiences with my son. Instead of absorbing the lessons I intended to impart, he seemed to develop fear-based avoidance tactics, becoming increasingly crafty in evading detection.
For many parents, the practice of spanking is passed down through generations and sometimes regarded as cultural. In response to this notion, Dr. Parker pointed out, “We often conflate cultural practices with generational trauma, especially in communities that have faced oppression and colonization. Spanking has historically been a common method of maintaining control, and this trauma can be transmitted across generations.”
My children’s father, who is of Peruvian descent, also grew up subjected to spanking—though it was often more severe than my own experiences. His mother has since expressed regret about using spanking and wishes to prevent it for her grandchildren. Dr. Parker emphasizes, “Just because we experienced this doesn’t mean we should repeat it with our children. It’s not culture; it’s trauma, and it’s more prevalent in communities of color due to systemic oppression.”
In my upbringing within a predominantly white, Christian culture, spanking was normalized, and for many who remain entrenched in that environment, it still is. For most parents, the intent behind spanking is rarely rooted in malice; rather, they typically strive to do their best with the tools they were given.
The silver lining is that it’s never too late to change and make more informed parenting choices. After I stopped spanking my son, our relationship transformed for the better. I am confident that this shift has fostered improved decision-making and reasoning skills that would have been less developed had I continued with spanking. Now, scientific evidence supports the notion that not only is spanking ineffective, but it can also harm children’s brain development.
As Dr. Parker stated, “Understanding that even mild spanking can lead to brain response patterns resembling those of abused children raises a critical question: Why engage in it? It simply isn’t worth it.”
For more insights, check out this related blog post, and if you want authoritative information, visit this resource on the topic. Additionally, this guide is an invaluable resource for navigating pregnancy and home insemination.
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In summary, spanking, even when intended as discipline, can lead to significant negative effects on a child’s brain development and behavior. Research suggests that there is little distinction between disciplinary spanking and abuse in terms of brain response. Parents are encouraged to seek alternative methods of discipline to foster healthier relationships and support their children’s growth.